Guest Performance
by Puddle of LCL
Summary: Many years after their fame has faded, three 'pilots' are reactivated by a strange organization in an unusual way. Chapter 6: We have begun Fourth Impact. The final chapter!
1. The Human Convention

  
  


**Guest Performance**

  
  


by Puddle of LCL

  
  
**Disclaimer**: I'm not Gainax. Eva is not mine. Thank you for your attention. 

**Author's notes**: This story is a light crossover between the anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion and a certain sci fi movie comedy. I call this a 'light' crossover because the only important connection between this movie and my story is that they share the same main idea. No knowledge about the movie is needed to understand the story. There are only two specific plot elements I stole from the movie, both in the first chapter. The first one is the fact that the very first scene is not what it seems but ... you'll find it out. The second one is that the main part of the chapter is placed in the middle of a ... you'll find it out. Which movie is Puddle talking about the whole time? You'll find it out.   
  


Chapter 1: The Human Convention

  
  
Only the full moon and a strange red ribbon intersecting it illuminated the deserted coast and the gigantic white creatures hanging crucified in the red ocean. The moonlight made a solitary human figure cast a shadow onto a wooden, makeshift tombstone. The post was only the first in a long row. The shadow slid from post to post as the figure walked along, observing the names that were carved into them. 

The first one carried the name Toji Suzuhara. 

The next one, Kensuke Aida. 

Then Hikari Horaki. 

Here, the shadow stopped for a few seconds before continuing its movement. 

Ritsuko Akagi. 

Misato Katsuragi. 

A cross shaped pendant was nailed to this one. 

Rei Ayanami. 

Asuka Langley Soryu. 

The shadow stopped again. A slender leg, clothed in red plastic, kicked down the slat. 

"Dummkopf." 

And then, everything went black. 

------

Within a large hall, a girl with a blue wig on her head was standing on a stage. The large screen behind her that had just displayed the apocalyptic scene was now black. A tight, white plastic suit emphasized the girl's rather corpulent figure. Below her, a crowd of a few hundred people, mostly wearing similarly eccentric clothes, cheered and whistled as the presenter prepared to speak. 

"Yeah! Please applaud to thank Gainax for providing us with this famous little scene that didn't make it into the final movie of the original Eva tetralogy!" the girl demanded. 

The cheers and whistles became even louder. 

"Why ..." The girl interrupted herself to raise her hands to calm down the audience. "Why do we love Eva?" she asked rhetorically. 

"Because of Ayanami's boobs!" a young man in a tracksuit shouted and high-fived a friend in a beige uniform. The whistling started again. 

The presenter gave the man a glare of death, absolutely misplaced for the character she tried to impersonate. This was her hour. She had worked for so long in the Really, Really Official (And We Mean It) Ayanami Fanclub to get this chance. And certainly too long to allow some nerd to louse up her scene. As long as the VIPs weren't on stage - and she would take care that it would stay that way for another while - this was her convention. Finally, she would be able to explain to the ignorant masses what Eva was really about. She cleared her throat. "Ahem. What makes Evangelion special? Its main characters aren't some two-dimensional flawless super-human beings. They are emotionally unstable children forced to fight a war ..." 

------

Backstage, two women in their mid-twenties were listening to the host's sermon. 

"Blah blah blah blah... that'll take a while," one of them, a European girl with long red hair muttered, "Do you want another beer?" 

Her blue-haired Asian companion was worried. Her friend had been in a foul mood for the whole day, ever since they had met at the train station. This was becoming typical of her on Eva conventions and was getting worse year by year. But today she seemed to be even more down than one should have expected. There was undoubtedly another factor at work here, the 'Sadao Inoguchi' factor in all probability, but she couldn't be sure. "That is already your third, Anja," she replied accusingly, hoping to provoke more than a monosyllabic answer. 

"So what? Three beers don't make you drunk. And even then, I could still play my part," the girl called Anja sighed. "It's my only role after all." 

The young women were sitting next to each other in a small, windowless room on old and ragged but comfortable looking armchairs, resting their legs on a low table in front of them. The beer Anja was talking about sat in a crate below. 

"That's not true, Anja. There were other films." 

Anja put her feet on the ground to grab a new bottle. After assuming her previous position and opening the bottle she took a sip. "You are so right, Rinako," she said sarcastically. "I played the bitch in some crappy sci fi video releases." She fumbled in a handbag that was lying next to her chair until she found a cigarette packet. "Want one?" 

Her friend took one. "I thought you quit." 

"Yeah, but then I started putting on weight. No good. Damned plugsuits." She pulled at the tight red dress she was wearing. 

The blue-haired woman grinned and finally took a beer for herself. She raised it towards Anja in a toast. "To the damned plugsuits. Cheers." 

Both women drank, lit their cigarettes, and smoked in silence for a minute. 

"Rumor has it they're planning a HERZ movie," Rinako broke the silence. 

Anja stared at her feet on the table. "They won't." 

Her friend stubbed out her cigarette. "How do you know?" 

"Because the last two films were a loss. There are enough stalkers to give us a hard time, enough fanboys to fill the hall out there, but not enough movie goers anymore to fill the cinemas. Their last try ..." Anja grimaced. "Well, I'll show you the script." 

"Huh? What script?" The blue-haired actress looked at her friend, confused. 

The redhead opened her handbag again. She took out the folded script. "Here, read it." 

Her friend took the script and began to read. "Shinji, Asuka, Shinji. Where am I?" she mumbled and skipped a few pages. She blinked and turned a few pages back, then forth. "That's ... pretty hard core stuff." 

"It's disgusting," was Anja's only comment. 

Rinako read on. "Oh ... wow." She blushed. 

The redhead extended her critique a bit further. "It's fucking disgusting." 

Rinako giggled. "Fucking ... yes. Does your stupid lover already know about it?" 

"EX-lover," the other actress insisted. "Our agent had enough decency to ask me before asking you, and will ask Sadao only after we say yes." 

So the problem was Sadao _and_ this script Rinako concluded. She assumed an emotionless face perfected in years of practice. Only a hint of mischief glimmered in her eyes. "And? Shall we do it?" 

Anja narrowed her eyes. "I don't see the humor here." 

Rinako laughed and put the script on the table. "Come on! I'm just trying to brighten you up. Just throw that script into the dustbin and get over it." 

Her friend stared at the ceiling. "That's nice, but futile." She was silent for a moment. "It's not the script. It's what it stands for. Eva is past. All they come up with now is porn. Our career is over ... at age twenty-seven. Well, looking back, my career was already over at age fourteen." 

Rinako sighed. "You take everything too seriously. That was always your problem." 

"You mean I should become more like Sadao," her friend concluded. 

"No need to go to extremes," Rinako countered. "Anyway, since you don't like Eva anymore ..." 

"Hey Paleface!" a male voice interrupted her. "It seems like you're making my girlfriend depressed." 

The women's heads turned to the door. A young man of their age was leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed, a bag over his shoulder. He was dressed in a similar suit like Anja and Rinako. The newcomer looked like an average handsome Japanese man except for the dark blue color of his eyes, caused by contact lenses. He smiled at Anja. "Hi Schatz." 

"She is not making your EX-girlfriend depressed," Anja snapped. 

Sadao went over to the table. "EX-girlfriend, yeah yeah. I hope my EX-girlfriend and my EX-girlfriend's best friend are doing well today." He grinned and made a little dance step at each "EX". 

Putting down his bag he took a seat in an armchair opposite of his two female colleagues. "Something new?" he asked, curiously eyeing the script on the table. 

He took it. "What's it about, this ..." Sadao read the title. "... Trinity?" He stared enquiring at the two actresses. 

The two women quickly exchanged a terrified glance before looking at him. "None of your business," both shouted in unison. Anja grabbed the script out of Sadao's hands and stuffed it back into her bag. 

Sadao crossed his arms. "Okay," he replied pouting before grinning again. "I have new stuff. You must see this!" 

He took a number of small black rectangular blocks out of his bag and began to arrange them carefully into a circle. 

Rinako sighed. "The little child is playing with building bricks." 

"No, no." Sadao waved his pointer finger in front of Rinako's eyes. "These aren't building bricks." He pushed one of them into Rinako's face. "Read!" 

Text was printed on one side. "SEELE 07 - Sound only," Rinako read obediently. "And?" She wasn't impressed. 

"These are action figures." 

"You ... you call a block of plastic an action figure?" Rinako stuttered. 

"Sure. The newest additions to the set. The fans will love it. How can you play Eva without the Sere council? 990 Yen each, all twelve for ..." 

"For the umpteenth time: It's pronounced Seele," Anja mumbled. No one was paying attention to her. 

"You take 1000 Yen for a block of black plastic?" Rinako asked indignantly. 

"Okay, I get the picture. You don't like them." Sadao put the twelve conspirators back into his bag and took out another item. It was a figurine of about 30 cm in height, resembling a younger Rinako. "What about that? Look: When I press the button on her back ..." 

"I am not a doll," rattled the doll. 

Sadao beamed at Rinako. "Isn't she cute?" 

"Irresistible," Rinako deadpanned. 

If Sadao detected any sarcasm in her voice, he pretended that he hadn't. "See, I knew you'd love her." 

"You surely have an Asuka version as well, right?" Anja asked, not even trying to sound as if she cared. 

"Of course!" Sadao replied cheerfully. "But I left her outside. I thought bringing an Asuka doll with me would be kind of ... cruel." He winked at her. 

Anja rolled her eyes and turned to Rinako. "What were we talking about?" 

"You were whining about your life." 

"I wasn't whining! I was just trying to point out some facts!" 

Sadao still toyed around with his doll. "This world is overflowing with sorrow," it said at the moment. 

"Okay. You're fed up with Eva," Rinako stated. "Then do something else." 

"I can't do anything else than acting. I don't _want_ to do anything else than acting. Being an actor was my dream since I was eight years old. But they won't let me play the real roles. What else _should_ I do?" Anja shouted. 

"Do you want to become one with me?" said the doll. 

"Eva will soon be forgotten. You'll get other roles," Rinako declared with conviction. 

Anja found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on her argument with Rinako, thanks to the little doll's side remarks. "Are we both talking about Neon Genesis Evangelion here?" she asked rhetorically. "The tetralogy that made Beethoven popular in gay discos all around the world? That made the name Shinji the most favorite boys' name in the U.S., France, and Russia for four consecutive years? That Eva?" 

"Is this a tear? Am I crying?" the doll added. 

Rinako faced Sadao, anger in her eyes. "Two adults are having a conversation here. About your girlfriend's problems." ("EX!" Anja intervened.) "Could you please stop playing with your toy before I thrash it?" 

Sadao pressed the button on the figurine's back once more. "Even if I die, I can be replaced." 

Rinako jumped to her feet. "That is good for you." She quickly took the toy out of Sadao's hands and dropped it to the floor. With a crushing sound, the doll's existence ended under her right foot. 

Sadao smiled. "You owe me 14,900 Yen." 

Anja began to giggle. Her two colleagues stared at her. Rinako looked confused, while Sadao had a faint smile on his lips. Anja stopped and put her hand in front of her mouth. "Sorry," she mumbled. 

Rinako stood up. "Hmpf. I think I'll go before I hurt somebody. And I'll have to find my contact lenses. I'm sorry, Anja. We'll talk about this later." She went to the door. Before leaving the room she stopped and looked once again at Anja. "Believe me. If you really want it, then one day you'll get all the roles you wish." 

Sadao also stood up and turned towards the door. "Poor girl. I think she's desperately in need of some serious ..." He spreaded his arms a little bit and began to rock his hips back and forth. 

"Sa-da-o. Don't," Anja pleaded. If it wasn't for her, her boyfriend - ex-boyfriend, she corrected herself mentally - would make himself look like a fool everywhere and always. 

Without stopping the rhythmic motion the young man turned his head back, grinning. "What? Don't you think your EX-boyfriend should put the moves on her?" 

"Oh, shut up." 

When he turned his head back, he became aware of an older man in a strange uniform just about to enter the room. Both of them stared at each other for a moment before Sadao noticed that he was still thrusting his pelvis in and out. He stopped. 

The old man smiled. "I love you too, Sadao. Just not that way." 

"Gonkuro! Finally!" Anja jumped to her feet and embraced the newcomer. 

"Hello, little one," he replied teasingly. 

Anja broke the embrace and scowled. "Hey. Your little one grew up quite some time ago." 

"Yes, of course you have. How are you and your boyfriend doing?" 

"EX-boyfriend. EX! EX!" Anja almost shouted. Sadao, standing behind her, mimicked her silently. 

Gonkuro grinned. "That's the ... sixth time now that you've broken up with him?" 

"I'm serious this time!" 

The older man ruffled Sadao's hair. "You should eventually start growing up, young man. Some day she'll _really_ mean it." 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm ..." 

A young woman entered the room. Anja recognized her, she was the president of the Japanese Sadao Inoguchi fanclub. 

"Sadao? Anja? Gonkuro? Three minutes!" 

"We're coming." 

The three actors left the room and entered a dimly lit corridor, standing now almost directly behind a curtain that separated them from the stage. Rinako was already there, her eyes now blood red. She nodded welcomingly at Gonkuro. 

Sadao left for his dressing room to get rid of the bag with his toys. Anja checked her appearance for one last time in a small mirror on the wall. She then looked at Gonkuro. Something was wrong with him. Then she saw it. 

"Gonkuro?" she whispered. 

"Yes?" 

Anja pointed at his left trouser pocket. He looked down. A pair of white gloves was stuffed into it. He took them and put them on. Then he stared at her. "Is everything in order now, Pilot Soryu?" 

"You look like a cold-hearted bastard, Commander." 

"Your opinion has been noted, Pilot Soryu." 

------

After suffering through the long and boring lecture of the host, the audience became more and more excited again as the first highlight of the 12th Japanese Eva convention was approaching: the entrance of the stars. 

The blue-haired presenter began announcing them with a hysterical voice. "Our first guest for today is none other than the famous commander of NERV. Please welcome Gonkuro Itagaki, better known as Gendo Ikari!" 

The warmhearted, friendly Gonkuro Itagaki from a few minutes ago had vanished. The man who entered the stage stared coldly at the booing fans. After a few seconds he turned towards the host. "I have no further use for you at the moment." 

The girl shrugged at the audience and left the stage, smiling wanly. She'd had her fifteen minutes of fame. 

Gonkuro went to a large desk on the left side of the stage and sat down behind it. He folded his hands in front of his face, just above his mouth. The actor waited motionless until the booing stopped. "Your disapproval is irrelevant," he declared, provoking new sounds of rejection. 

After waiting a few more seconds he finally began with the announcement of his fellow actors. "I brought some of my subordinates with me that might prove to be useful in this situation. The first one is my descendant Shinji Ikari, the Third Child and pilot of Eva Unit 01, Sadao Inoguchi." 

Sadao's transformation was as radical as Gonkuro's. He hesitantly entered the stage, and placed himself behind one of three microphones, a mixture of sadness and fear in his eyes. He was apparently feeling uneasy facing such a large crowd of people. "I ... well ... hello," he stuttered, trying to avoid looking directly at the audience. 

There was laughter and applause. 

"The next guest is also an Eva pilot," Gonkuro continued. "She has, for reasons incomprehensible to me, apparent feelings for my son." Sadao blushed. Whistles came from the audience. "Please welcome Anja Siebert, also known as Asuka Langley Soryu, the Second Child." 

Anja jumped onto the stage and pushed Sadao aside. "Hi fans!" she yelled making a victory sign. 

Most of the audience was cheering by now but there were also a few catcalls. "BIIIITCH!" somebody yelled from behind. 

In one fluid motion Anja dropped one of the two erected fingers and turned her hand around. "Fick dich, du Arsch!" 

The jubilation from the more submissive part of the crowd became even louder. 

"Ms. Soryu is said to be the most beautiful woman in Tokyo-3," the 'Commander' explained. Anja nodded with a content expression on her face. 

"A statement that can easily be disproved," Gonkuro added, disdainfully. 

The redhead gritted her teeth. Gonkuro looked at her. "Is something the matter, Pilot Soryu?" 

More laughter from below the stage. "LIES!" somebody screamed. 

Inwardly, Anja felt a mixture of fascination and fear as always when she played her part. The fans didn't want Anja Siebert, they wanted Asuka Langley Soryu; so she gave them Asuka Langley Soryu. 

For years there had been no need to fix some text before the entrance. She, Gonkuro, and Sadao were just improvising. After the Eva tetralogy, the following side and continuation stories, and countless conventions like this one Asuka had almost become a second personality. Once activated she seemed to live her own life, out of Anja's control. She knew that most of her colleagues were feeling similarly. When Gonkuro was Gendo Ikari, he could even scare her sometimes. Anja's attention went back to the outside world. Gonkuro had just finished his announcement of the First Child. 

Rinako Asuhara entered with an empty look on her face and placed herself next to Sadao, opposite of Anja. The fans went wild. 

The actress allowed herself the slightest of smiles. "Thank you," she whispered. 

Two fans in the first row fainted. A couple of the others went running to the washing rooms. 

'Shinji' looked first dreamingly at 'Rei' and then nervously at 'Asuka'. 

'Asuka' gave him an angry glare. "It's so disgusting watching you two lovebirds." She grabbed him, and placed him on her other side, away from the blue-haired actress. 

Although the Eva cast always attempted to keep their private lives private, it was of course well known that Sadao and Anja were a couple, and there were even rumors that Sadao and Rinako weren't exactly on best terms. Still, Shinji would never make a decision between Asuka or Rei. Too many fans just wouldn't allow for it. 

"Pilot Ikari will now make a brief speech," Gonkuro announced. 

Sadao, or rather Shinji, looked at him in panic. Gonkuro stared back. "You will begin now." 

Sadao cleared his throat. "I ... no, well, you see ..." 

Anja rolled her eyes, and the corners of her mouth went down. "Stop that!" She switched off his microphone. "What Shinji wanted to tell you is that he is pleased that you all came to this place to see me ..." 

------

The four actors chatted for a while, playing their parts. Anja did most of the talking, interrupted every now and then by orders from Gonkuro or half-hearted, opposing remarks from Sadao. Rinako remained mostly silent. 

Finally, Gonkuro closed the introduction of the guest stars. "... Autographs will be given in one and a half hours in hall II. I have given Pilot Soryu the order to stay for another hour and answer any of your questions relating to the events of the Angel War. Pilot Ikari? Pilot Ayanami?" 

He stood up and left without another word. Sadao and Rinako followed him. 

Anja cleared her throat and waited for the questions to come. Her colleagues loved to delegate this duty to her, partly because she could verbally punish the most stupid questioners while remaining in character and even amusing the audience. But most of all, they loved to give the job to her because then _they_ needn't deal with it. 

Anja didn't just fear the typical nerds' questions about technical details of the Evas' weaponry. There were also those completely understandable questions, to which, however unfortunately, none of the crew had a convincing answer. For example, what exactly SEELE had planned in the final movie when they had tried to initiate the Third Impact. 

The fans below the stage were already raising their hands. Anja chose one of the rare individuals that wasn't costumed. "Yes?" 

"I never really understood what exactly Sere had planned in End of ..." 

"Seele," Anja interrupted. 

"Huh?" 

"It's pronounced Seele. Next one." 

"But ..." 

Anja impatiently waved her hand. "NEXT ONE. Yes, the ... ah ... Katsuragi look-alike?" 

Three purple-haired women in red jackets began to talk simultaneously. 

"No, that one over there. Yes, you." 

"When I saw the scene where Rei is ... um ... sitting on top of Shinji in the sea of LCL, I noticed that her hair is _orange_. Does that mean that her soul is really a mixture of the red-haired Asuka's and the blonde Dr. Akagi's?" 

"E-excuse me?" 

------

After giving a few autographs to the more impatient fans Rinako and Gonkuro managed to escape to the dressing room of the two male stars. 

"I was surprised to see your name on the program," Rinako said after both sat down. "I thought you would attend the Eurocon together with the bridge bunnies." 

Gonkuro leaned back and folded his hands behind his head. "You mean because there I would be the star instead of 'additional cast'?" 

Rinako looked hurt. "No, I ..." 

"It's okay," Gonkuro interrupted her. "I just don't like those long flights, you know?" He changed the subject. "You're alone again, Rinako?" 

The girl sighed. "Taro, he ..." She made a dismissive gesture. "It's just always the same, you know? The guys want Rei, not Rinako. There are two types of men who go after girls like Rei. Most of them, I scare away after some time. The others scare me away." She shrugged. "Anja has similar problems. Too boring, too quiet, and too serious, that's what they say about her." 

"But in reality you're not that different," the Gendo actor declared. 

"No, we're just ... normal, I think." She winked. "Well, deep inside I'm much stranger than you would ever guess." 

Gonkuro laughed. "Well, Anja has Sadao." 

Rinako suddenly looked very earnest, perhaps even a little bit worried. "Their 'separations' are becoming more frequent and lasting for longer." 

"Yes ..." The older man hesitated. "Rinako, do you regret doing Eva? Would you rather not have done it?" 

The actress didn't have to think about the answer. "No. It was fun while it lasted. ... Perhaps I should've avoided the main parts. Hikari, maybe?" 

"You would have been a cute Hikari." 

"But I was the perfect Rei. And you?" 

Gonkuro laughed again. "I somehow doubt I would've been a cute Hikari." 

"You know what I mean." 

"Well ..." the actor began reluctantly, "Eva would of course have been better with Gonkuro Itagaki as script writer, Gonkuro Itagaki as director, and Gonkuro Itagaki as male main part." He looked very serious for a second. Then he grinned broadly. "I would have been the best Eva pilot in the world." 

Rinako began to laugh. She stopped as she heard a knock at the door. The two actors exchanged a glance. Finally Gonkuro raised his hands in a gesture of surrender and stood up. He opened the door. "Strictly speaking," he welcomed the five men who were standing outside, "this area is off limits to fans ..." 

------

Sadao was sitting in the middle of his merchandising products, waiting for customers. Alas, Anja seemed to be doing her job too well, as the occasional laughter from the hall and the small number of fans who came over to him proved. But he had means with which to counter his boredom. 

"Kiss me, Asuka, I know you want it," he said, shaking the Shinji figure he was holding in his left hand. 

"Oh no, no ... yes, yes please kiss me Shinji, my hero," he answered to himself in a high-pitched voice, shaking the Asuka doll he was holding in his other hand. 

He brought the two toys together and made kissing sounds, accidently thereby pressing the button on the back of the Asuka doll. 

"Ewww ... I should never kiss to kill time." 

"Damn!" Sadao let his his fists crash onto the desk in front of him. To his right, a couple of tiny robots, some blue, some purple, some red, began to goose-step around in the large box they were contained in. Whenever they hit the walls or crashed into one another, they randomly changed their directions. Sadao watched the crazy mecha dance for a few moments before hitting the desk with his fist for a second time. Immediately the toys stood still again. 

Sadao began anew. "Please Shinji," he made the red-haired doll say, "kiss me. I love you more then anything." 

"Pilot Ikari?" 

The two dolls disappeared almost instantly under the desk. "Erm ... yes?" a blushing Sadao replied. 

In a sad parody of the world Sadao lived in, a world in which Neon Genesis Evangelion, commercially the most successful movie tetralogy in history never had existed, or - to state an even more hilarious example - a world in which this story had only been realized in form of, say, an anime series, known only to the chosen few, in such a world the man standing in front of him would have been described as dressed much like a secret agent or perhaps a kind of bodyguard. 

In the _real_ world however, almost nobody on earth would have described the man as 'much like' or 'kind of' since everybody would have recognized him as looking _exactly_ like a member of Section Two, NERV's intelligence division. 

"Pilot Ikari, your cooperation is needed," the man stated. 

"Sure. Do you want a plushy perhaps?" Sadao took a plush penguin and squeezed it. The toy made a squawking sound. 

The man's face partially hidden behind large sunglasses remained unmoving. "You will have to pilot the Evangelion again," he answered. 

Sadao grinned. "No. I won't. Tell my father ..." 

"Commander Ikari is not in charge of this operation ... yet." 

This fan, Sadao decided, clearly preferred a rather dry form of humor. He shrugged. "Okay, so where's the Angel I have to slay?" 

"Would you please accompany me to the dressing room in the VIP area? Commander Ikari and Pilot Ayanami are already waiting there." 

Sadao asked a member of his fanclub who was standing by to look after his toys and followed the man suspiciously. 

------

Anja's interrogation session was finished. She left the stage and went through the halls, looking for her colleagues. All she found was Sadao's stand where he, as on every convention, tried to sell his memorabilia and toys he normally offered via the net and in his little fan shop in Tokyo. 

One of his crazy groupies was standing behind the desk. Anja didn't remember her name. 

"Oh hello, Ms. Siebert!" the girl greeted her, voice bubbling with friendliness. 

"Hi ... have you seen Sadao or the others?" Anja inquired. 

The fan scratched her head. "Sadao went backstage with some guy dressed as a Section Two agent. That was half an hour ago. To the dressing rooms, I suppose. Ms. Asuhara and Mr. Itagaki are also there, he said." 

Anja mumbled a "thank you." and went towards the VIP area. It figured that her friends were hiding somewhere while she had to hold the fans at bay. She knocked at the door of Sadao's and Gonkuro's dressing room. There was no answer. She tried it for a second time before slowly opening the door. 

Something was definitely not in order. 

The fact that, for example, her three colleagues were lying on the ground, unconscious, gagged, and tied up with long ropes that were wound around their bodies at least fifty times. Three men dressed in black suits and wearing sunglasses were standing around them. One of them looked at her. 

"Pilot Soryu! Your appearance here means a favorable speed-up of our plans," he exclaimed. 

"W-what is happening here?" Anja stepped backwards just to bump into two other men in the same uniform-like clothing. They promptly grabbed her by the arms and hauled her into the room. 

"I do apologize, but we have orders to assure your cooperation using all necessary means," the man in front of her replied. He opened a bottle and hastily splashed the liquid contained within over a piece of cloth. Then he walked towards her. 

Anja struggled frantically against the men that were holding her arms down. These fans costumed as Section Two were obviously crazy and she did not want to find out what kind of 'cooperation' it was the man had talked about. 

"This is stupid! There are fans all around here! Do you really think you can drug us and just walk away with us through the main humph..." 

------

In the main hall the visitors were standing around in small groups, chatting with each other and waiting for the VIPs to return. All eyes went to the stage as a black suit appeared from behind the curtain and cleared his throat. 

"Excuse me," the man said in a determined tone, "this is a NERV intelligence operation. The Children and Commander Ikari are needed for a mission of the highest importance. The nature of this mission is classified, and I'm not allowed to reveal any details as yet. We will return the said personnel as soon as possible. Thank you for your cooperation." 

The man left the stage and headed towards the exit on the other side of the hall. When he entered the crowd, the fans respectfully stepped aside. Four other men followed through the so created corridor, all clothed in the same black suit and wearing identical sunglasses. Each of them was carrying a seemingly unconscious actor on his shoulder. 

After a few seconds of awkward silence, the audience applauded. 

------

Who are these mysterious agents and where will they take their victims? What fate awaits the actors? Who is pulling the strings in the background? All these questions will be answered in the amazing second chapter,   
  


"SEELE, Throng Of Fools."

  
  
**Author's notes**: Well, you probably know by now which movie I was talking about and what the main idea is that I've stolen. I assure you again that my story is not just a retelling of said movie. From now on, it will be completely different. There will be no actors running around searching a new Eva core on a planet populated by hungry little green men or something like that. And prepare for a few twists at the end! 

To make it clear: In the universe I describe here, Neon Genesis Evangelion never existed in form of an anime series. But the movie tetralogy has exactly the same story (and no Kate Rose as Second Child or Mary Poppins as Class Rep or the like). How this is possible with only four movies, you ask? It's pronounced Seele. Next question. 

Romance is no big issue in this fic but it has a pairing. There is a basic rule of Hollywood films that applies also here: A couple that was separated before the story starts for reasons nobody really understands will be together again at the end. So this is an S/A story. Meaning Sadao/Anja, of course. That brings us to an astonishing coincidence. wink I hope you noticed the initials of the actors and the parts they played: 

Rinako Asuhara - Rei Ayanami 

Sadao Inoguchi - Shinji Ikari 

Anja Siebert - Asuka (Langley) Soryu 

Gonkuro Itagaki - Gendo Ikari 

All Japanese names I used have no hidden meaning, at least none I'm aware of. I just blindly took them from an alphabetical list. 

Finally, I would like to thank my pre-readers ChiRho, Nova, and XXXG-00W0 for helping me with this story. 


	2. SEELE, Throng Of Fools

  
  


**Guest Performance**

  
  


by Puddle of LCL

  
  
**Disclaimer**: I'm not Gainax. Eva is not mine. Thank you for your attention.   
  


Chapter 2: SEELE, Throng Of Fools

  
  
Sadao had a massive headache when he woke up. He was lying on the floor in a dark room, together with a number of randomly distributed bodies he could not identify in the sparse light. He crawled warily over to the nearest one, to his right, and scrutinized its face until there could be no doubt. It was Rinako. Behind her, he made out a silhouette that appeared to be Anja. 

Before Sadao could crawl on over to her another shadow that had been lying at Sadao's feet stirred and made attempts to raise itself up, cursing with a voice Sadao identified as Gonkuro's. Gonkuro tilted his head in all cardinal directions until he saw Sadao. 

"Where are we?" 

"The last thing I remember is being drugged by a fan dressed as a Section Two agent," Sadao answered pitifully. "Was our entry speech that bad?" 

"What are they doing here?" remarked Gonkuro, gesturing past Sadao to another group of figures on their left. 

Gonkuro obviously had less problems with the lighting than Sadao, who again had to crawl over to identify the person on his left. The woman was lying on her side, wearing only a nightgown. It was Mutsuko Ishimura. 

Perhaps one billion people knew the name Mutsuko Ishimura, but at least two billion knew the woman that was unconsciously lying next to Sadao under her role name: Lieutenant Maya Ibuki, member of NERV's bridge crew. The two men behind her were probably Sugita Arakawa and Masaki Hokusai - Shigeru Aoba and Makoto Hyuga, the remaining two thirds of the bridge bunny trio. 

"Shouldn't they be at the con in Italy?" Sadao asked. 

"Spain," Gonkuro corrected. 

"Whatever." 

"Last thing I remember is going to bed in my hotel room," an awaking Masaki Hokusai intervened with a weak voice, still lying on his back. He moaned and brought a hand to his forehead. "That was in Barcelona by the way, Sadao." 

Sadao nodded at his movie father and smiled contently. "See?" 

Gonkuro ignored Sadao's rather uncommon ideas about geography and strained his eyes. "Are those kittens and puppies on your pajamas, Masaki?" 

The other man quickly looked down his body. "You didn't see this - is that clear?" 

One by one, the other actors woke up too and exchanged their stories. None of the bridge bunnies could remember their abduction. They all had most likely been kidnapped while they slept - thus explaining their nightwear attire. Together, the Eva cast inspected their surroundings. They found a barely visible locked door in one of the empty metal walls of the cell, three neatly folded NERV uniforms which Mutsuko, Masaki, and Sugita gladly took, as well as some of their personal belongings they had carried along when they were attacked. 

"Hey! Here's my bag," Sadao shouted as he rummaged through it. He held one of his SEELE monoliths up to Sugita Arakawa, who came from a corner where he had utilized the darkness to change in private. "Do you already know about my Sere action figures?" 

"Sere action figures? Is that all you can think about in this situation?" Sugita answered, obviously disconcerted with Sadao's sense of priorities. 

"It's _Seele_!" I've been telling you this for over ten years now, for heavens sake!" yelled Anja, who at the same time was trying to find a secret exit by knocking at the metal walls. 

"It's relieving to see that at least your girlfriend keeps her mind focused on the really urgent problems," Mutsuko mumbled ironically from one of the other corners she had used to change into the NERV uniform. 

"EX-girlfriend!" 

"How much ransom would they demand for our release?" Gonkuro wondered aloud. 

"Perhaps they don't want money? Perhaps we were kidnapped by fans that already have all the Eva collectibles and are collecting the cast now?" Sadao proposed another theory. 

A hidden loudspeaker in the ceiling began squeal with feedback. "In a few minutes we will arrive at Tokyo-5 spaceport. We apologize for any inconveniences. Thank you for your attention," it blared. After another episode of teeth-grinding feedback, it became silent again. 

The actors looked at each other. 

"Tokyo-5?" 

"Spaceport?" 

"Oh God, we're in the hands of madmen!" 

The door opened suddenly with a loud hiss. Everybody blinked as the searing light of neon tubes outside of the cell flooded into the darkened room. In the doorway stood a group of the already familiar Section Two agents. 

"Please follow us," one of them said. 

"Where? What do you want from us?" Mutsuko demanded to know. 

The agent looked at his wristwatch. "We will be landing in exactly ... three minutes and twenty-three seconds. Afterwards, you will be brought to the president of Gainax." 

"The president of Gainax?" Anja echoed. 

"Perhaps he wants to talk with us about that Trinity project," Rinako mumbled. 

The agent looked bewildered from one to another. "All your questions will be answered by the president himself. Please follow us," he repeated. 

"We won't." Mutsuko crossed her arms. She looked very determined. 

------

The actors followed the Section Two look-alikes through an empty metallic corridor, with the exception of a struggling Mutsuko, who was carried by two of the agents. 

One of the guards took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes before putting them back on. Anja elbowed Sadao. "Did you see that?" she whispered. 

"What?" 

"His eyes ... they were so ... large. Too large." 

"Large eyes? Do you think they're on drugs, or what?" He tapped one of the men on the shoulder. 

"Sa-da-o," Anja pleaded. 

He ignored her. "Hey! What are you guys on?" 

The guard looked at him. "We are on board the G.U.N.S. _Class Rep's Orders_." A sudden jolt went through the corridor. Everybody buckled a bit. "And now we are on the planet Gainax," the guard continued. 

"S-sure." That wasn't exactly the kind of answer Sadao had expected. 

They reached a larger room at the end of the corridor. Mutsuko was let down. 

"On drugs or not," Sadao remarked, "the scene is nicely done." 

Suddenly, the back wall of the room began to move upwards. A ramp covered with a red carpet became visible, leading to an ordinary looking bus. The bus was indeed the only ordinary looking thing around. The ground everywhere seemed to be made of concrete, almost stretching out to the horizon. At some distance away, objects could be seen that looked like futuristic aircraft - or spacecraft. Ahead of the actors, beyond the concrete covered plain, lay a gigantic city. 

"Nicely done, indeed," Rinako agreed. 

The man who seemed to be the leader of the agents made an inviting gesture. The actors went along the carpet towards the bus. Around two dozen people were standing to the left and right of the carpet, like a semi-official welcoming committee. These people were definitely not human. But they didn't look very inhuman either. The strangest feature of the creatures were their eyes. Anja's colleagues now understood what she had meant. The males' eyes were just slightly too large to make them look normal. The eyes of the females were in general even larger. The women's hair seemed to come in all colors of the rainbow. The men had more ordinary hair colors although there were exceptions. 

"As if from an anime," Mutsuko formulated the thought several of her colleagues were having. "They look as if they're from an anime." 

"Look there!" Sugita Arakawa shouted. He pointed into the direction they came from. One could see that the door they had passed was an airlock of a huge spaceship. 

"What does all this mean?" Rinako asked one of the agents. 

"Please enter the bus. It will bring you to the presidential palace," the man replied as if that explained everything. 

------

On the way to this 'presidential palace' the actors were alone with four Section Two agents and the driver of the bus, a woman with light green hair. None of them seemed to be interested in talking, and so the members of Eva cast had no chance to reduce the amount of open questions that went through their heads. 

The bus reached the fringes of the large concrete field that had been called the spaceport of Tokyo-5 and entered the city itself. Thousands of the strange creatures populated the streets between the large, hyper-modern buildings. Various posters, signs, and labels proved that this civilization clearly used the Japanese language not only in spoken, but also in written form. 

"The scene is nicely done, indeed," Rinako repeated. 

"Yeah, yeah, Paleface," Sadao replied pouting. 

Finally, the bus drove into a quarter that appeared to be older than the parts of the city they had passed before. They reached a majestic building surrounded by a park. 

"The presidential palace," the driver announced. It was the first thing she said since the beginning of the trip. She parked the bus in a garage next to the building. 

The agent leader stood up from his seat and pointed to a metal door in the back of the garage. "This passage leads to the presidential office. Please follow me." 

Mutsuko crossed her arms again. "We will not ..." The two agents who had carried her silently turned their heads into her direction. "Let's go meet that president," she hastily added. 

------

After walking through a tunnel, passing several security guards and a pink-haired secretary sitting behind her PC, varnishing her fingernails, they finally reached their destination: a room with a large, mostly empty desk and a man sitting behind it. Another man and a woman stood to the left and right of him. 

When the actors entered, the man stood up and walked around the desk. He shook Sadao's hand. "I am Yasuo Takudo, the president of Gainax. It is an extraordinary honor to meet you, Pilot Ikari." 

"I'm ..." 

"You certainly have a lot of questions," the president interrupted and went over to Anja and Rinako, shaking their hands also, like the professional politician he most likely was. "Ms. Langley? Ms. Ayanami? I assure you that they will all be answered now." 

"Well, first of all ..." 

A security guard entered the office. "Sir? We must advise you to speak to the crowd now. Things could get out of control if they don't see The Pilots soon." 

"Alright." He looked at the Eva cast. "Please follow me for a second." 

"One moment," Anja said, "you said something about answers." 

"That will have to wait for a few minutes." 

Anja wasn't satisfied with that. "Stop. We waited long enough. Give us just one good reason why we should wait any longer. One good reason." 

"60,000 people are standing behind the building and want to see you. If you don't go out, they might try to come in." 

Anja thought hard but couldn't find any smart reply to that. 

------

From a balcony, the actors could overlook the even larger park areas behind the palace. Many thousand people were standing there, beginning to cheer as they saw the Eva cast. A number of cameras observed the balcony too. 

Sadao's eyes widened. "Wow, that's like in Tokyo after we got the thirteen Oscars." 

Rinako shook her head. "No, it's bigger." 

The man who had introduced himself as the president of these people stepped up to a microphone. 

"My fellow Gainaxians," he began. The constant cheering stopped. "You all know that after over a millennium, our nemesis has returned. Once again, the future of our whole civilization is at risk." He made a dramatic pause. The crowd waited in anticipation. 

"But where is danger, there is also hope. The rumors you may have heard are true: The Children themselves have come to our rescue!" 

"The Children!" a whisper went through the audience. 

"And they will be assisted by The Commander and The Bridge Crew!" 

"The Commander! The Bridge Crew!" the audience answered. 

Sadao looked at Rinako. "I somehow have the feeling that they're talking about us." 

"Really?" the blue-haired woman replied sarcastically. 

"With The Pilots on our side, there is no need to fear the Angel," the president went on. 

Sadao blinked. "Angel? What?" 

"They will assume their duties already tomorrow. Let us all go home and look forward in confidence to the day when they will defeat the Angel. Thank you." 

The audience applauded. 

"Duty? Tomorrow? Defeat the Angel?" Sadao repeated the most unpleasant parts. 

The president deactivated the microphone and turned to the group of humans. "That will have to do. And now to your questions." 

They went back into the president's office and to a back door. 

"You will now meet the highest authorities of this planet," the president announced. 

"Huh? I thought that was you," Sugita replied, apparently confused. 

"Well, not directly. Please come in." The president pressed a button next to the door making it slide aside. He entered the dark room behind it together with his two assistants. The actors followed hesitantly. The security guards, however, remained outside. 

------

The door shut automatically, leaving the actors, the president, and his assistants in pitch darkness. 

"Hey! What is that? Switch on some light, man!" Masaki shouted. 

"Stop that immediately Sadao," Anja hissed quietly, "or you will regret it." 

"I'm not doing anything," Sadao replied much too innocently. 

A slapping sound was heard. 

"Oww!" Rinako cried out. 

"_You_ groped me?" Anja asked confused. 

"Sadao groped you, of course! But you hit me, you idiot!" 

"Could we _please_ get a little light here?" Masaki tried again. 

Somebody fulfilled his wish. The room was suddenly illuminated by twelve holographic images of rectangular solids surrounding the group of actors, the president, and his assistants. 

"Oh-oh." 

"Scheiße." 

"Fuck." 

"We are Sere," the hologram labeled SEELE 01 thundered. 

"Seele!" the shocked Anja corrected almost automatically. 

"Well, Mr. ... eh ... SEELE," Rinako began, scratching her blue hair, "all this is a terrible mistake, y'know? My name is not Rei Ayanami as some people here are obviously thinking." Her right arm flew into the direction of Sadao, making him jump back to save his eyes from her pointer finger. "For example, I'm fortunately not a clone of the mother of that dork over there. And I'm certainly not an ..." 

"We are well aware about all that, Ms. Asuhara," SEELE 08 interrupted her. 

"We know everything about your true nature," SEELE 03 continued. 

"We know that Neon Genesis Evangelion is just a movie tetralogy on Earth." 

"A tetralogy, not counting the various side and continuation stories that followed, of course." 

"Although we liked those very much, as well." 

"Especially 'The Best Laid Plans'." 

"That is true." 

Sadao spun around, trying to always face the momentarily speaking hologram until he became dizzy. "So if you are so well-informed, then why did you kidnap us?" he asked. 

"Before we can answer that question you need to know the history of this planet," SEELE 01 explained. "Mr. Takudo, please." 

All holograms except for SEELE 01 vanished. The president positioned himself in front of the actors and began to explain. "About 1100 years ago my people, who are now known as Gainaxians, lived in a large number of nation states on a technological level comparable to today's Earth. It was then, when our most powerful radio telescope received the first message of an extra...ah...gainaxian civilization. Eventually, our scientists managed to decode it. It turned out to be the first Evangelion movie." 

Masaki raised a finger. "Excuse me, Sir, but how could you receive a transmission of one of our movies over 1000 years before they were made?" 

"That is indeed a good question," the president praised him. "As we found out later, the transmission was an ordinary TV broadcast of your movie from Earth that was projected into the past by a phenomenon that was some kind of ... anomaly." 

"And that means?" Anja asked. 

"It can only be explained by abstract mathematics," the president replied briefly. 

"And _that_ means?" Anja inquired further. 

"Yes, thinking of it ... what does that mean, actually?" The president looked inquiringly at SEELE 01. 

"How the heck should we know? We are conspirators, not scientists." 

"Anyway," the president continued, "later, we also received the other movies." 

Mutsuko, who was a fan of American sci-fi, was happy that her hobby finally turned out to be useful. "And then, you created a society of peace based upon the values of the Eva tetralogy." 

The president looked surprised. "Ah ... no. It's quite hard to build a society of peace upon the values of mentally unstable teenagers, wouldn't you say? But Eva became popular nevertheless." 

"So why ..." Sugita started. 

"Eva became so popular, that our race was almost wiped out in wars between fanatic fans." 

"There were the Yaoi Riots," one of the president's assistants intervened. 

"And the pogrom of the Shinji/Hikari heretics," the other one added. 

"The Radical Reinterpretation Revolt." 

"The Dub/Sub Jihad." 

"Not to forget the Crossover Crusades." 

The president spoke again. "And of course ... the Evil." 

"The Evil," both of his assistants repeated. All three quickly drew a strange symbol with their pointer fingers into the air. 

"The Evil?" Sadao who was amusing himself by poking his fingers in and out the SEELE hologram asked. 

All Gainaxians repeated the word and again made this seemingly religious symbol. Mutsuko tried to identify it. It looked like a circle or oval and an X. 

"It is said that talking about it brings bad luck," the president said hastily. "Well, finally the wars escalated into a devastating global conflict between S/A- and S/R-followers. It took several centuries for the wounds of our planet to heal and for civilization to return. The source of the Evangelion myth had been widely forgotten by then. It became the basis of several religions. Only a few conspiratory groups like what is now SEELE remembered the truth. The different beliefs now coexist in peace. More or less." 

"That explains at least a few things. But why are we here?" Gonkuro wanted to know. 

"In the times of the great war, weapons of the apocalypse, inspired by the Eva movies, were created with bio-technological means that are now lost ..." 

"Evangelions," Anja threw in. 

"Not quite." A holographic monitor appeared behind the president, showing an ever-repeating sequence of low quality stills of various forms of ... 

"Angels," Rinako exclaimed. 

"Correct. To fight them, NERV was founded and the Evangelions were built." The looping pictures of Angels were replaced by battle scenes between Evangelions and Angels. "At the end of the war, the Angels had been destroyed, with the exception of their progenitors, Adam and Lilith. Or so we thought ..." 

"But?" Masaki asked. 

Another image appeared, showing a large object floating in space. The small body and the long and thin legs gave it a spider-like appearance. "This image was taken two days ago," the president explained. "We scanned the object. Blood pattern blue. There is no doubt." 

"Looks like the 9th," Gonkuro said. 

"Phhhhhhh. Fighting the 9th was easy." Sadao was bored. 

"Sa-da-o." Anja used again her special tone. "You never fought against an Angel." 

"But he will," SEELE 01 stated. 

Anja raised her eyebrows. "Excuse me?" 

"When the Angel reaches Adam or Lilith, it will cause Fourth Impact. Adam is lost since the old wars and was most likely destroyed like the others. Lilith is where she should be. In Terminal Dogma, inside of NERV HQ and the Geofront, below Tokyo-5." 

"Why not Tokyo-3?" Mutsuko thought aloud. 

The president spoke again. "After Eva became popular, a capital of one of the old nation states was renamed to Tokyo. Just Tokyo. Or Tokyo-1 if you wish. But then came the Yaoi Riots. And the pogrom of the Shinji/Hikari heretics. And the Radical ..." 

"Okay, okay," Rinako interrupted. "We got it. Why should Sadao fight an Angel?" 

Again, it was SEELE 01 who answered. "The Evangelions still exist. You, Ms. Asuhara, Ms. Siebert, and Mr. Inoguchi will pilot them, intercept the Angel, and destroy it before it reaches Lilith. Mr. Itagaki will take command. The others will support him in Central Dogma." 

"Why us?" Masaki wanted to know. 

"For many centuries, NERV existed only for reasons of tradition. We have no trained pilots." SEELE 01 sounded almost desperate. 

"Haven't we already agreed about the fact that WE ARE NOT TRAINED PILOTS EITHER?" Anja shouted. 

"So you are as good as anyone else, correct? Plus, the polls show that using the legendary, almost godlike original Pilots will have a positive impact upon the upcoming elections." 

"Elections?" Sadao pointed at the president. "His elections?" 

"The president is appointed by the SEELE committee. He has just a mere representative role. I'm talking about _our_ elections." 

"_Your_ elections? You are _elected_ anonymous conspirators?" Anja asked. 

"Of course. We aren't barbarians, Ms. Siebert." 

"And when we fail?" 

"Then, there will be no elections, Ms. Siebert. No voters, no votes." 

"And when we refuse to cooperate?" 

All SEELE holograms appeared again all around the actors. 

"If you do not cooperate, you will witness the Fourth Impact in a prison cell," SEELE 01 threatened. "Directly at ground zero." 

"If you tell the people the truth," SEELE 11 added, "most of them will not believe and just laugh at you." 

"The others will crucify you," SEELE 07 said. 

"That is not meant as a figure of speech." 

"And we wouldn't be able to prevent that." 

"Even if we tried." 

"Which we won't do." 

"The choice," SEELE 01 concluded, "is of course, yours." 

------

"As the official leader of the people of Gainax, I would like to express my deepest gratitude and respect for your courage to offer your unselfish help in this dark hour despite of the sacrifices that might lie ahead," the president stated with a slight smile on his lips after a rather short discussion between the actors. "There is another issue: Since the large majority of the Gainaxians don't know about your true identity, you will have to remain in character whenever you're in contact with them." 

Everyone looked at Gonkuro. 

"This will not prove to be a problem," he stated. "Will it, Pilot Ayanami?" 

"No, Commander." 

"Pilot Soryu?" 

Anja grimaced. "Yeah, yeah." 

"Very well. Pilot Ikari?" 

"Yeah, yeah." 

Gonkuro pushed up his glasses. "I beg you pardon, Pilot Ikari?" 

Sadao first stared at him and blinked then adverted his eyes. "I will pilot if this is what you want from me, father." 

"Very well," Gonkuro repeated. He turned his head towards the bridge bunnies. 

"Yes, Commander," they all shouted in unison. 

SEELE 01 joined the conversation again. "This is all for today. Mr. Itagaki will be brought directly to NERV headquarters, where he will move into a room we provided for him. The others will all live in apartments in the same building block in the city. A group of Section Two agents will bring you there. You will be informed in detail about the situation tomorrow at NERV. Afterwards, there will be a first activation test of Units 00 to 02." 

------

The humans, with the exception of Gonkuro, were standing in front of an apartment door, together with two now already familiar Section Two agents. One of them unlocked the door. 

"We unfortunately had no information about the preferences of The Bridge Crew concerning their residences," he said as they went in. "We hope that this apartment meets your expectations." 

The apartment seemed to cover the whole floor. To Mutsuko Ishimura, it appeared like the presidential suite in a high-class hotel. That was understandable since even at the times of the peak of her fame she had never seen a reason to rent such a suite. If she had she would have known that this apartment made in fact most hotels on Earth look small and seedy. 

"It does meet our expectations, thank you," she said while inspecting the marble tub in one of the three bathrooms. "Aoba, Hyuga, and me, we will live here?" 

"Of course not. This is just for you, Lieutenant Ibuki. The Lieutenants Aoba and Hyuga will be given identical apartments on the second and third floor." 

Sadao elbowed Anja. "Look what they've got!" he whispered. "And they didn't even appear under 'also starring'. I think we're gonna have a good time here." 

Anja just shook her head. She wasn't exactly in the best mood as Sadao noticed. 

On the fourth floor, after delivering the other two bridge bunnies at their residences, the agents stopped at an apartment identified as number 402 by a label above. 

"This is your apartment, Ms. Ayanami," one of them announced as he opened the door. "We tried our best to arrange everything as in the Holy Movies." 

The remaining actors looked inside, inspecting the dirty and sparsely furnished surroundings. 

"We filled the mailbox with letters for you to ignore," the man went on, sounding as proud as if he had done it by himself. "The doorbell is of course not working." 

Rinako looked through him in a perfectly Rei-esque way. "The apartment will fulfill its purpose." 

"Very well. We will leave you alone now." 

He turned over to Anja and Sadao. "You will live over there." 

He pointed to the next door. Instead of unlocking it as he had done every time before, he used the doorbell. Anja and Sadao exchanged a glance out of the corner of their eyes. 

The door was opened by a purple-haired Gainaxian woman of about thirty. "Hello! There you are!" she greeted cheerfully. "My name is ... I guess it would be easiest if you just call me Misato Katsuragi. Misato for you, of course. Come in." 

She grabbed the 'pilots' by their collars and dragged them in. 

"Oh, watch out Shinji. There are cans on the floor." 

"AHHHH!" 

The sound of Sadao hitting the floor mixed with the sound of the door sliding shut. The agents had fulfilled their mission and departed accordingly. 

------

'Misato' apparently tried to squeeze Sadao to death. "I'm so happy to meet you Shinji," She looked into his face. "You look much too handsome for a fourteen year old boy." 

Anja observed the scene with a pouting expression on her face. "That might be because he is a twenty-seven year old _boy_ by now." 

The purple-haired woman finally released Sadao and laughed. "Of course. This is all still a little bit confusing for me. You surely want to take a look into your rooms first. But don't take too long, we'll have dinner in half an hour." 

A film of sweat began to appear on Sadao's and Anja's foreheads, condensing into large sweat drops. 

Anja wasn't surprised to find the apartment to be an exact copy of the Katsuragi residence, as shown in the Eva movies. Her memory of Asuka's room wasn't very clear anymore, but she was sure that even then she wouldn't have found any difference. The actress was glad that she could switch into another dress after wearing her plugsuit since her abduction. As to be expected, there were countless pieces of clothing. Although everything was the right size, it all appeared to be more fitting for a teenage girl style wise. There was even a school uniform in her size. Anja hoped that SEELE didn't expect the pilots to attend a junior high. 

After she had put on her famous yellow dress, the red-haired woman went to the door. She stopped and prepared herself to play her part for the rest of the evening: being the proud, energetic, and arrogant Asuka Langley Soryu, although she felt like hiding in her bed, alone with her sorrows and fears concerning the next days. 

When Anja left her room, she heard strange noises from Sadao's. She knocked at the door with the sign 'Shinji's lovely suite'. "Sa ... Shinji?" 

No answer. She opened the door. The room was dark. Dark, with the exception of a rectangle labeled SEELE 01, small enough to fit on a desk. 

"Sadao Inoguchi is in our hands. To save his life, you'll have to take off your clothes immediately." 

Anja inspected the apparent SEELE hologram. It turned out to be one of Sadao's action figures, dramatically illuminated by a desk lamp. Those were the visual special effects used for this prank. On the audio side, they consisted mainly of a certain actor, hiding behind the desk and speaking into a cup. 

That was Sadao. Even in this absurd and dangerous situation he wouldn't behave like an adult. Childish. Irresponsible. And still, Anja felt the urge to grin. She managed to suppress that reflex. "Sadao! What do you think you're doing? What if this Misato wannabe had entered the room?" she hissed instead. 

Sadao stood up, looking disappointed. "I just figured that you needed some lightening up. Do you think she doesn't know?" 

"Obviously not. Could you please behave a little bit more earnestly now?" 

"You never had any sense of humor," Sadao grumbled. 

"Yes, I have. But at the moment it would be better if you understood the seriousness of our situation instead of behaving like the fourteen year old boy who just got the chance to play a mecha pilot, like you've done for almost thirteen years now." Anja became gradually louder. 

"And moping gets us where? By the way: For thirteen years I was virtually the only one who could make you laugh every now and then. Have you ever noticed that?" 

Now the actress began to yell. "THAT IS _NOT_ TRUE!" 

"You lose your fake accent when you get angry." 

"MY ACCENT ..." 

The door slid open. 

"What's up? You're here for less than an hour and already bickering?" the Gainaxian Misato smiled. 

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" both actors yelled simultaneously. 

Misato teasingly ruffled Anja's and Sadao's hair making both of them wince. "Can't you children live in peace for once?" She contemplated for a second. "What was it that I wanted? Ah yes! Could you look after the dinner while I change into something else?" 

By the time the two actors entered the kitchen Anja had calmed down a little bit. The dinner turned out to be three pizzas baking in the oven. The ex-couple used the time to get an overview of the kitchen equipment. Anja hesitated a moment at one of the two fridges and looked at Sadao. He nodded encouraging at her. 

Anja flung the door open. The fridge was empty. "No bird," she stated simply. 

Sadao was disappointed. 

A penguin waddled into the room and looked at Anja. "The bird exists, Ms. Siebert." 

The actors stared at the animal that carried a collar identifying it - not surprisingly - as Pen-Pen. 

"D-Did you ..." Anja began stuttering. 

"... just talk?" Sadao concluded. 

Pen-Pen turned his head from Anja to Sadao and back. "Wark?" 

"The penguin is of course not speaking, Mr. Inoguchi. We bugged its collar." 

Pen-Pen looked down at his body to find the source of the noises that were normally produced only by his food providers. "Wark?" 

"It's me, President Takudo. I'm using this unusual method of communication because I have to warn you without anybody noticing. Especially not my superiors, SEELE." 

Anja kneeled down to the bird. "Warn us?" she asked, worried. 

"There are signs that somebody is planning to sabotage the activation test." 

"SEELE?" Anja wanted to know. 

The voice from the collar hesitated. "Perhaps. Perhaps not. SEELE has its secrets, no doubt. But there are many factions with their own agendas. Just be prepared." 

"How? And why should anybody ..." 

The Gainaxian woman entered the room. "Oh, you're playing with Pen-Pen. How nice Asuka. But now let's eat!" 

Pen-Pen waddled away as quickly as his webbed feet allowed. 

Anja and Sadao sniffed suspiciously at their pizzas before putting the first bite into their mouths. The civilization of Gainax had worked miracles to construct real Angels and Evangelions that had existed before only as computer graphics in sci-fi movies. But even the Gainaxians had to respect the limits set by the laws of nature. Therefore, even this Misato double just couldn't completely screw the preparation of a frozen pizza. It turned out to be edible. 

Misato - Anja had decided that it would be easiest to think about her just by that name despite the fact that she wasn't the movie character but an alien - however did her best to imitate her original. "Do you want some mustard on your pizza, Asuka?" she asked, smearing the yellow mass all over her own. 

"Misato, that's gross. Can I have a beer?" Anja reached out for a can that stood on the table. 

"Asuka, that's not appropriate for a fourteen years old girl," Misato reproached. 

Anja's Asuka personality prompted her to begin tapping her fingers impatiently on the table. "We are twenty-seven years old, Misato." 

Misato's eyes became blank for a second. "Asuka, beer is not appropriate for a twenty-seven years old girl," she replied, then took all cans out of Anja's reach. 

"Say something, you dork!" Anja hissed at Sadao. 

"Me? Oh ... orange juice is fine with me Misato," Sadao stated sheepishly, already in full Shinji mode. 

"How pathetic." 

The evening had just started. 

------

Somewhere, later on the same day and just before midnight, unnoticed by the powers that ruled the planet, a conversation between two men took place. 

"Do you have him?" 

"Yes." 

"When will you bring him to me?" 

"Tomorrow." 

"That is good." 

The other man hesitated. "You will fulfill your part of the deal." 

"Of course. You will be the seventh. That is our agreement." 

"We will meet here again tomorrow. Then I will bring him to you." The speaker left. 

The second man didn't speak until his partner was out of sight. "You fool," he then added disdainfully. 

------

Who are these mysterious two men and who will be brought to one of them? Will our heroes survive the fight with the Angel? Or at least the activation test? Don't miss the stunning third chapter,   
  


"All Of You, Act As If You Want The Academy Award!"

  
  
**Author's notes**: Here is the now complete list of names and role names: 

Rinako Asuhara - Rei Ayanami 

Sadao Inoguchi - Shinji Ikari 

Anja Siebert - Asuka (Langley) Soryu 

Gonkuro Itagaki - Gendo Ikari 

Sugita Arakawa - Shigeru Aoba 

Masaki Hokusai - Makoto Hyuga 

Mutsuko Ishimura - Maya Ibuki 

A G.U.N.S. is of course a Gainax' United Nations Ship. No pun intended. Once again, I would like to thank my pre-readers ChiRho, Nova, and XXXG-00W0 for trying to translate my broken English into real English. 


	3. All Of You, Act As If You Want The Acade

  
  


**Guest Performance**

  
  


by Puddle of LCL

  
  
**Disclaimer**: I'm not Gainax. Eva is not mine. Thank you for your attention.   
  


Chapter 3: All Of You, Act As If You Want The Academy Award!

  
  
The next morning, the six members of the Eva cast that had been given apartments in Tokyo-5 were brought to the headquarters of NERV in the same shuttle bus that had taken them to the city the day before. 

Mutsuko pointed out of the window. "Look, isn't that cute?" 

Two Gainaxians on the sidewalk had begun to unfold a banner as soon as they had become aware of the bus. 'Shinji loves Asuka, Asuka loves Shinji' it simply stated. 

Suddenly, another Gainaxian arrived and began to shout angrily at the two demonstrators. After pushing one of them and being pushed back, more and more bystanders took sides. Before the scene was blocked for the passengers as they went behind a corner, a fist fight between more then a dozen people had already begun. 

Mutsuko sank back into her seat. "Or maybe not," she mumbled. 

------

A car train carried the bus down into the Geofront, the gigantic cavity below the city where the pyramidal building of NERV HQ was located. When they arrived together with some escorting Section Two bodyguards, the Eva cast were greeted by a blonde Gainaxian woman in a lab coat. "My name is ... I guess, it would be easiest if you'd just call me Ritsuko Akagi. Dr. Akagi for you of course," she introduced herself. She looked at Mutsuko. "Try anything funny with me Ms. Ibuki and I'll feed you to my cats." Then she again faced the whole group. "Welcome to NERV. Captain Katsuragi hasn't come with you as it seems?" 

"She wasn't feeling well this morning," Sadao replied briefly. 

"She'll probably come as soon as she's sober again," Anja snorted. 

Anja was nervous and tired because she hadn't slept well the night before, thinking about the warning they had received via the avian relay station. It had slightly surprised her to see that even Sadao had looked worried when she met him in the kitchen that morning. Rinako, on the other hand, played her part very well. Her empty expression made it impossible to read what was on her mind - it had slipped only for a second when Anja managed to tell her about the possible sabotage in an unobserved moment. She hadn't been able to talk to the bridge bunnies who seemed to be a little less stressed. But they weren't the ones who would be forced to pilot a gigantic cyborg. 

After making a snide comment about the drinking habits of Anja's and Sadao's 'guardian', Dr. Akagi guided them to a conference room where Gonkuro was already waiting. As the doors closed, the actors were alone with the Gainaxian scientist. The woman gave them a sign to sit down. She activated a monitor on one of the walls of the room, and the already familiar image of the Angel traveling through space became visible. 

"As I was told, you already noticed the striking similarity to the 9th. When this Angel attacked Gainax for the first time over one thousand years ago, it self-destructed after being defeated by the Evangelions. We believe that the explosion catapulted a part of the Angel into space, where it has regenerated over the centuries." 

"Don't they always come from space?" Mutsuko asked, looking at Sugita. 

"I thought they were born in volcanoes," he replied. 

Anja rolled her eyes. "You should have been more attentive at the ... eh ... operation briefings," she stated in an arrogant tone. 

Dr. Akagi grinned. "We are alone here, Ms. Siebert. As chief scientist of NERV, I'm of course informed about your real identities." 

"You are? And what about the rest of the people here?" queried Rinako who naturally hadn't said much up to this point. 

"Only the command crew. And some of the spies that sneak around here, I bet," Akagi explained. 

"Spies?" Sugita repeated. 

The doctor shrugged. "Spies from SEELE, the presidential office, some ministries, the military, approved religious groups, illegal sects, ... agents, double agents, triple agents, quadruple agents ... They try to spy us out, and we try to spy them out. That's the way it is. Sometimes we catch one but 'Spies don't always have a pony-tail'." 

The actors looked confused, some more, some less. 

"An old saying. But the spy issue doesn't need to concern you. Let's come back to the problem at hand." 

The image changed and was replaced by an abstract graphic showing the course of the Angel and its destination. "The Angel will reach the surface of Gainax in about 26 hours. We naturally expect a landing in or near Tokyo-5," Dr. Akagi went on. "The Magi took all necessary variables into account and simulated your fight against the Angel. What you'll see now is the result of three hours of computing time from the most powerful computers on Gainax." 

Another change took place on the monitor. A poor computer graphic showed the descent of the Angel. Three crudely drawn Evangelions entered from the left, marching in step. Without reducing its speed, one of them pointed a rifle at the Angel and fired. The Angel was replaced by the word 'BOOM' inside of a spiky yellow-red blob. The blob vanished, and the Evangelions simultaneously turned around, marching back off of the screen. The words 'Game Over' appeared. 

"Eva Units 00, 01, and 02 will move out, destroy the Angel with a positron rifle, and return. That's the plan." 

"That's the plan," Anja echoed. "_That_ is the _plan_?" 

"Can I have the positron rifle?" Sadao pleaded. 

------

Dr. Akagi gave the actors a guided tour through the building. "We will begin with the heart of NERV," she exclaimed inside the descending elevator. "This is Terminal Dogma," she added dramatically as the doors of the car opened. 

Her guests were amazed when they saw the gigantic white creature nailed to the red cross, surrounded by a basin filled with a reddish fluid they presumed to be LCL. Even the Lance of Longinus was there, piercing its torso. The legs were missing. 

"Lilith," the doctor explained needlessly. "The product of the forgotten technology of a past era. We tried to destroy her but she keeps regenerating. The Lance of Longinus slows this process down, however." 

Sadao pointed at a door in a corner of the large hall. "HA 1-25," he read off the sign on the door aloud. "What's in there?" he asked curiously. 

Dr. Akagi turned towards him. "That's the ... broom cupboard." 

Anja had been waiting for a moment that allowed her to talk to Gonkuro in private since their tour through NERV headquarters had begun. "Gonkuro?" she whispered. 

Her colleague gave her an emotionless glare. "Is something the matter, Pilot Soryu?" he asked aloud. 

"Stop that Soryu baloney," she hissed back. "I have to ..." 

"The broom cupboard?" Sadao doubtfully replied at that moment. 

"Yes. For the cleaners." Dr. Akagi headed towards the elevator. "Please follow me. We have a tight schedule." 

After visiting Terminal Dogma, the group was brought to what was, according to Dr. Akagi, the armory. Eva-sized knives and various kinds of firearms were spread over several large halls. Some NERV technicians occupied with maintenance work were present, looking miniscule next to the weapons. The blonde scientist stopped in front of a titanic gun. 

"This is the positron rifle. It's an improved model with an internal power source and should be able to break through the Angel's AT field, even if the pilots aren't capable of generating their own - which is unfortunately a scenario with a probability of 99.9999999 percent." 

"Are you sure that it isn't one nine more?" Rinako asked ironically. "Because in that case I would be really worried." 

Dr. Akagi glared at her angrily. "I'm sure that our calculations are correct." 

"Never mind." 

The next stop was the Evangelion cages. The familiar forms of the blue, purple, and red giants stood motionless next to each other, restrained by powerful bindings. The entry plugs had already been attached but were open and not fully inserted yet. Dr. Akagi effusively explained the technical details of the war machines, before turning towards the designated pilots. 

"For you, this is the last station of our tour. This escalator," she pointed in its direction, "will bring you to the changing room level. The signs will lead you there and then to the Evangelions." 

"NOW?" the three actors shouted simultaneously. 

"Now. I expect you to be ready and inside the entry plugs by 11 AM." 

Anja made a last attempt to talk to Gonkuro. "Gon ..." She cut herself short as a few technicians went by. "Commander Ikari?" 

Again the cold stare. "Pilot Soryu?" 

"Will you ... abort the test if anything goes wrong?" With faked self-assurance, desperately trying to keep herself in character, she added, "There is of course nothing I couldn't take care of by myself, Commander. Your son on the other hand ..." 

Gonkuro interrupted her. "The success of the operation has the highest priority. The physical integrity of the pilots is of importance to guarantee this success," he stated before Dr. Akagi led him and the bridge bunnies to an elevator. 

"Thank you. I think," Anja muttered when they were gone. 

"You're worried," Rinako remarked as the three actors went up the escalator, a typical extra-long NERV model. 

"Yes," her best friend answered monosyllabically. 

"Even your idiotic boyf..." 

"Mind your words!" Anja hissed. 

"... EX-boyfriend seems to be. The real world has finally knocked on your door, eh Sadao?" 

Sadao grunted disdainfully. "It's just a robot, Paleface. I've been selling them for years now." His attempt to be funny wasn't very convincing this time. 

"And if we just try to escape?" the redhead asked her best friend. 

"From here? How? And where to? We look a bit strange compared to the Gainaxians, remember?" the Ayanami actress asked back. 

"Yes, the eyes. One would have to ..." 

"Don't worry. Have some faith." Rinako pointed to herself. "An Angel is watching over you." 

"Very funny." 

------

"Our next stop will be Central Dogma, from where you will supervise the activation tests," Dr. Akagi explained to the remaining actors. 

"But we don't know how!" Sugita intervened. 

"Don't worry. We simplified the console layouts somewhat. Additionally, you, Mr. Hokusai, and Ms. Ishimura will be supported by Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar respectively." 

The elevator stopped and the doors opened. 

"Here we ... eh?" 

Misato Katsuragi was standing in front of her. Unlike the day before, her eyes now had for some reason acquired the same blood red color like those of Rei Ayanami. "Oh, hello Ritsuko. Hope I'm not too late. I still have problems finding my way here, you know." She stepped inside. 

Dr. Akagi distantly introduced the purple-haired Gainaxian women to the actors who hadn't met the Captain yet. Mutsuko stared at her. 

Misato stared back, smiling. "Yes, Lieutenant Ibuki?" 

"Y-Your eyes ..." 

"Your lenses," Dr. Akagi explained. 

"Oh." Misato fumbled in her pockets until she found a small box containing brown contact lenses. She inserted them. "Better?" 

"Are you an Angel?" Mutsuko asked. Misato giggled. 

"Red eyes are a common side effect of cloning and genetical engineering," Ritsuko Akagi explained. 

"Cloning?" Sugita Arakawa asked. 

"Yes. We both were cloned from modified DNA to perfectly fulfill our roles." 

The elevator stopped again. This time it really had reached its destination: "Here we are. This is Central Dogma. Everything should be as you remember. You will find your way," the NERV chief scientist declared. 

Leaving the elevator, the actors entered a platform at the lower half of the tower that was the Magi. It was the level where the terminals of the bridge bunnies were located. An older, gray-haired Gainaxian man was awaiting the actors. "Good morning. My name is ... I guess, it would be easiest if you call me Fuyutsuki. Subcommander Fuyutsuki. I will assist Commander Ikari." He emphasized the word 'assist' in a way that made it perfectly clear who would really take command during the scheduled tests. 

Gonkuro Itagaki, seemingly perfectly in character since the actors had met him this morning, nodded at the Fuyutsuki clone. "Please guide me to the command level, Professor." 

"This way, Ikari." 

The alleged Lieutenants took their seats. Dr. Akagi placed herself standing next to Mutsuko. Misato Katsuragi remained standing in the background near the elevator. 

In front of the crew, a huge holographic display showed the three Evangelions and the tiny figures of their pilots, dressed in their plugsuits and walking towards the entry plugs via narrow bridges that led to them. After the three actors had entered, the plugs began to close and were inserted into the mechas. Dr. Akagi bent down and pressed a button on Mutsuko's console. "Is the LCL filling progressing?" she asked. 

Gargling sounds came via a loudspeaker. 

"I'll take that as a yes." 

"Dr. ... em ... Sempai?" Mutsuko asked. 

"Yes, Maya?" 

"I thought ... An Evangelion needs a soul, right? So who ..." 

"There are stronger bonds than the love of a mother," Dr. Akagi replied mysteriously. 

------

After Anja had convinced herself that the LCL was indeed working and that she was not suffocating, she relaxed a bit. She now began to feel the presence of a, well, of a _presence_. The redhead unconsciously tightened her grip on the controls as her mind began to race. The soul inside of the Evangelion ... She hadn't thought about that yet. Her mother ... they wouldn't do that, would they? Or the woman who had _played_ her mother. Oh God, she couldn't even remember her name anymore ... 

"Hello, Asuka. Nice to finally meet you," a voice whispered in her mind. 

The voice didn't sound like her mother, or like anybody's mother for that matter. In fact, it sounded much like that of a girl in her early teens. 

"Who ... who are you?" 

A mental giggle. "I'm a fangirl." 

------

Meanwhile, in Unit 00: 

"A ... a fangirl?" Rinako stuttered. 

"Yes! I'm the moooooost ardent R/S fangirl on this planet. You make suuuuuuch a cute couple together. Trust me: Shinji will never choose that bitch over you." 

------

Back in Unit 02: 

"You should see my Asuka/Shinji shrine! You're really soulmates. Everybody can see that. I mean, look at that doll. She's just sooooo dull. And she's his _mother_, for heaven's sake." 

------

And again, in Unit 00: 

"And she is so cruel and uptight and everything. I hate her. Oh, I hate her sooooo much." 

------

In Unit 01, Sadao was also having a conversation. "A fangirl?" 

"Yes! Do you want to see the stories I've written about you?" 

Text was running over the holographic display at amazing speed. Lots of text. 

"Ah ... nice. But you should insert paragraphs every now and then. So, are you an S/A or an S/R fangirl?" 

For a few moments there was no reply. "Actually ..." 

A picture appeared in Sadao's mind for a second. A picture of a young man with gray hair and red eyes. Without clothing. 

"Urgh ..." 

------

In Central Dogma Dr. Akagi pressed another button on Mutsuko terminal. The view of the Eva cages on the main screen was replaced by images of the three pilots. Various looks of confusion were scrawled across their faces. 

"Are you ready?" she asked into the microphone on the desk. 

The pilots nodded reluctantly. 

"Alright. Then we will begin with the activation procedure for Unit 01 first." She looked expectantly at the bridge bunnies. 

"How?" Mutsuko whispered. 

"Just press the button labeled 'begin with the activation procedure for Unit 01'," Ritsuko whispered back. 

"Oh." She indeed found such a button. A text appeared on a monitor in front of her after she had used it. "**Repeat: Connecting main power to all circuits.**" it said. 

Mutsuko just stared at the text. Another sentence appeared. "**Yes, I'm talking to YOU, Mutsuko 'Lieutenant Maya Ibuki' Ishimura. It's me, Balthasar."** An emoticon expressing happiness was added. 

"Connecting main power to all circuits," Mutsuko repeated obediently. 

Masaki who was staring at a similar monitor, added, "Power supply connected. Commencing activation system." 

------

Sadao was sitting in his entry plug, wondering about the professional tone of the bridge bunnies and trying to ignore the constant prattle of Unit 01's soul. 

"Borderline cleared. Unit 01 has been activated," Mutsuko finally announced. 

"Shinji, please try to perform a few movements," Dr. Akagi ordered. 

Sadao tried to take his first step. 

------

Eva 01 was marching up and down the small - by Evangelion standards - hall. It made knee-bends and push-ups. Finally, it even made some pseudo-karate kicks into the air, accompanied by utterances from Sadao sounding like 'Hah' and 'Hee-ah'. 

"Thank you, Shinji," said Dr. Akagi attempting to lessen his enthusiasm somewhat. "Now, try to spread your AT field." 

"How?" Sadao asked after a few seconds. 

The blonde shrugged even though she knew that Sadao couldn't see her. "We don't know. There's no button or anything like that. You just have to ... do it." 

Sadao hummed a tune. "Like this?" 

The scientist looked at some readings on Mutsuko's console. "Nothing. But we had expected that. I apologize for our imperfect technology," she added with an ironic tone so faint that only the actors could detect it. 

------

Sadao looked around in his entry plug as if he expected to see his invisible companion somewhere. "You should know how to do that, shouldn't you?" 

"Ah, not really. This technical stuff is so boring, you know?" the fangirl replied. "I'm more into sap/romance." 

------

"Please bring your Eva back into the initial position," Dr. Akagi ordered. 

Sadao grunted disappointedly but obeyed. 

"We will now carry out the activation of Unit 00 and Unit 02 simultaneously," the doctor announced. 

Mutsuko studied the console in front of her until she found a button labeled 'carry out the activation of Unit 00 and Unit 02 simultaneously'. 

------

Unit 02's soul was still explaining her personal view of the relation between Asuka, Shinji, and Rei to Anja. "... boys that go after a girl like her are just afraid of real women, I say. And ... oh." 

Anja awoke from her doze. "Oh what?" 

"It's time. I'm sorry, but there are some issues I have to sort out with the doll in Unit 00. 'Til later," she said in honeyed tones. 

That was the last thing Anja heard, saw, or felt for some time. 

------

The wailing sound of klaxons suddenly echoed through Central Dogma. 

"What is the matter?" Gonkuro asked from above. 

Mutsuko pressed the 'What is the matter?' button. 

"**0o. The backward thingy. You know.**" the monitor said. 

"Eh ... The backward thingy. You know," she repeated. 

"I'm expecting a report, Lieutenant Ibuki," Gonkuro replied sharply. 

"**Come on, you know.**" 

Mutsuko came to her senses and remembered. "The pulses are flowing backward!" 

"We have a berserker!" Sugita shouted. 

"Which one?" the 'acting commander' insisted to know. 

"BOTH!" Masaki shouted. 

"Abort the activation immediately!" 

"**Now guess what?**" appeared on Mutsuko's monitor. 

"WE CAN'T!" 

"**Smart girl.**" 

------

Unit 00 and Unit 02 didn't give the impression of violent, uncontrolled beasts. But seeing the red Evangelion circling the other mecha, its chest slightly bent forward, and its hands folded on its back was admittedly a strange view. 

Eva 00 followed the other mecha with its single eye. "What?" it finally snapped. 

"I'm just trying to find out who is the greater doll: The doll, or the doll that is piloted by a doll." 

"I'm ... not ... a doll," Unit 00 replied with barely suppressed anger. "Something seems to be affecting your thinking. The sexual frustration of your pilot perhaps?" 

"What did you say?" 

"You heard me." 

Anja's Evangelion crossed its arms in front of its chest. "Listen sweetheart: If I wanted to learn something about sexual frustration, I would ask a girl with the sex appeal of a zombie on valium, like your pilot." 

"THAT'S ENOUGH! I'm gonna scratch your four eyes out!" Unit 00 threw itself on its rival. 

"Cut off the power supply. Release bakelite!" Gonkuro's voice echoed through the hall. Streams of liquid plastic were poured out over the fighting Evangelions. 

"I'll kill you and your piloting bitch!" Eva 00 howled, pouncing on top of Unit 02 and attempting to strangle its neck. 

The red Eva somehow managed to throw off the other mecha and to get on top. "She's not a bitch! She is troubled because her mother hung herself." It began hitting the chest of the blue mecha with both fists. 

"She probably hung herself because her daughter was a total BITCH! Say something Shinji!" 

"Yes, say something Shinji!" the other Eva repeated. 

------

"Eh ... shouldn't we say something? Or better, do something?" Sadao asked Unit 01. 

"I'm sorry, but I'm not activated anymore," the voice in his head replied casually. "Let these stupid girls sort that out. Meanwhile I can show you my yaoi gallery." The normal outside view of his entry plug was replaced by a menu. "I have 'Shinji', 'Kaworu', 'Other', 'Shinji/Kaworu', 'Other pairings' and 'Groups'. Where should we start?" 

"LET ME OUT! SOMEBODY LET ME OUT!" 

------

The crew of Central Dogma worriedly watched the cat-fighting Evangelions until finally their power reserves were exhausted and the bakelite began to harden. The giant mechas froze in motion. 

"Begin the rescue operation for the pilots of Unit 00 and 02," Gonkuro ordered. 

Sadao's voice came via the com. It sounded miserable. "Me too, please." 

Sugita looked at Dr. Akagi. "Did you expect that, Doctor?" 

"The probability of two Evangelions going berserk at the same time is less than 0.00001 percent," she replied. 

"And that means?" Mutsuko wanted to know. 

Ritsuko Akagi turned her head away. "There are several possibilities," she answered evasively. But she unconsciously made a gesture with her pointer finger, as Mutsuko noted. She drew a curl and an X into the air. 

------

When Anja awoke from her unconsciousness and opened her eyes, she found herself lying on a bed, looking upwards. She opened her mouth to speak. "Unf..." 

"Don't say it!" she heard a well-known voice next to her. "That's _my_ line." 

She turned her head to see Sadao, sitting next to her on a chair. He was staring upwards too. Medical equipment next to the bed proved that they were inside a sickroom of NERV's infirmary. 

"And it looks very familiar to me. Exactly like on the set," he continued. 

"Plus, it's a hell of a cliché," Rinako's voice added from behind. "Like Sadao sitting here." 

Anja turned her head into the other direction. Rinako was also lying in a bed, just about a meter away from her. 

"I'm just taking care of my girlfriend," Sadao defended himself. 

"EX!" Anja shouted. "But thank you for being here," she added in a more normal tone. "Rinako, please just stop it." 

"Since when are you awake, anyway?" Sadao inquired. 

Rinako smiled. "Longer than you might think. But if there's an urgent job to be done ..." She closed her right hand around an imaginary cylindrical object and made some fast, rhythmic movements. "... just pretend I'm not here." 

Sadao grumbled. 

Anja felt her body aching as she sat up in bed. Her arms were covered with effusions of blood. Her memory was blurry and ended with her conversation with the soul of Unit 02. "What exactly has happened?" she asked to fill the gaps, but also to prevent a quarrel between Sadao and Rinako. 

Sadao shrugged. "The souls of the Evangelions were too ... dominant, Dr. Akagi told me. And those in your Evangelions seemed to kind of dislike each other. They went berserk and ... umm ... scuffled." 

"Scuffled," Anja echoed, trying to imagine dozens of meters high, 'scuffling' battle machines. 

"Yes," Sadao nodded. "But Dr. Akagi said that they're under control now." He scratched his head. "Actually, she said a lot of techno babble I didn't understand. But the basic idea seems to be that they're under control now." 

"And you, you didn't have any problems with your Eva?" Rinako asked suspiciously. 

"I ... no. No, I didn't." 

Maybe Sadao had been forced to act in character for too long and thus had problems in switching back to his normal behavior. But why was he practicing his hand-twitching tic now? Anja couldn't think of any reason for this. 

"And for how long have we been out? She looked at a clock on the wall. Five hours? Oh ..." 

The door opened and a purple-haired head became visible. Within seconds Misato was at Anja's bed and squeezed her. "My poor little Asuka! I'm so sorry to make you suffer like that! After all, I don't even have a father that ... Well, you know the story." 

Anja winced as Misato put pressure on her effusions. "OW! You're hurting me, damn it." 

"Oh!" Misato suddenly released her grip, making Anja fall back onto the bed. 

Anja wasn't really angry. She had come to like the cheerful Captain already on their first evening despite her unprofessional overacting. 

"When is the next test scheduled, Captain Katsuragi?" Rinako asked quietly. 

"Your Evas are still covered in bakelite. But they will be ready tomorrow when it counts, don't worry," Misato explained. 

"What? You mean next time it's for real?" Anja screamed. 

"Yes, but that shouldn't be a problem," the Gainaxian woman answered casually. "At least, Ritsuko mumbled some number with many nines." She elbowed Anja, making her wince again. "Come on Asuka, you haven't unlearned to pilot an Eva, have you?" 

"Of course I can pilot that thing, Misato!" Anja replied accusingly. Internally, she damned the over-confidence of her alter ego. 

------

After a final examination by the doctors, Anja and Rinako were declared fit again. Before they could leave however, they were visited by their colleagues with the notable exception of Sugita Arakawa. Nobody seemed to know about his whereabouts. 

"He's probably visiting the city," Masaki supposed. "I did that too. I found out some interesting things about this planet." 

"Me too," Mutsuko intervened. "It is astonishing how many women wanted to buy me a drink." 

"This is important, Mutsuko," Masaki criticized her. 

"I also have something important to say," Anja declared. "Could it be that the Evas were sabotaged?" 

"Funny that you're saying that," Mutsuko said thoughtfully. "It seemed to me that Dr. Akagi had the same feeling." 

"Did she say something?" 

"She hinted at it. And she made this sign, you know," Mutsuko draw the sign for the Evil into the air, as well as she remembered. 

Anja turned to Gonkuro who had been silent up to now. "Have you heard something?" 

"I assure you that we will do everything to secure the success of our mission," he said with his emotionless Gendo-voice. "It has been decided that you will rest today. All scenarios considered indicate that you will be able to defeat the Angel tomorrow without further training." 

Sadao frowned while Gonkuro was talking. Then something came to his mind and he grinned mischievously. "Say Gonkuro, you've already done that Akagi woman, huh?" 

Gonkuro stared coldly at him. 

"Ahahahahahaha!" Sadao laughed. 

Gonkuro still stared coldly at him. 

"Eh ... ahahaha? Ahaha?" 

The older man adjusted his glasses. "Captain Katsuragi will inform you about tomorrow's schedule." With these words he went. Nobody spoke for a few seconds. 

"Phhh," Sadao finally said. 

"There are no eavesdroppers here, right?" Anja asked. 

Masaki shrugged. "If there are then they're probably only people who know the truth anyway. Gonkuro has been that way since we came here." 

"He always was a perfectionist. But you wanted to tell us something." 

Masaki nodded. "Yes. I visited the city. I've been to a book store. Nothing strange about it at first sight. Books in shelves and labels above the shelves, you know like 'Crime', 'Science Fiction', 'Travel', 'Science'." 

"So what's your point?" Anja asked impatiently. 

"The point is, that _these_ labels weren't like that. They said 'S/A romance', or 'S/R', or 'Darkfic', or ..." 

"So what you are saying is ..." Rinako began. 

"What I'm saying is that the entirety of literature on this planet seems to be Evangelion fanfiction. There were at least 50 books dedicated solely to Gendo/Maya romances." Mutsuko looked disgusted at him. "After seeing that I had a theory and went to an arts museum. I wasn't surprised anymore to find only Evangelion fanart." 

"Do they also have, you know, adult art?" Sadao winked at Masaki. He made a mental note to visit such a museum if yes. 

"Sa-da-o." 

"Yes," Masaki replied unimpressed, "but you should know that there is no separate yaoi section. It's all at the same place." 

Although Sadao was sure that he had already seen all yaoi fanart that could possibly exist on this planet, he canceled his mental note with a thick, red mental pen. 

"So what is the bottom line?" Anja inquired. 

"One more example first. Rinako, there is a radio next to your bed. Could you turn it on?" 

Rinako wordlessly pressed a button. The radio played what sounded like a speed metal version of 'Fly me to the moon.' She switched the station. Now the Ode to Joy was heard, this time with an underlying reggae rhythm. 

"I think that's enough," Masaki declared as Rinako tried to find yet another station. "The bottom line is that Eva is not just the religion of the Gainaxians. Everything is Eva." 

"We already know that they are weird," Rinako said as she turned off the radio again. 

"Yes, but they are weirder than you think. And there's another thing: Although I think I was discretely shielded by Section Two agents, secret police, or something, people came to me and asked me a lot of details about Eva. Mainly about Sadao's, I mean Shinji's love life." 

"The S/A versus S/R thing," Anja supposed. 

"Exactly. Do you remember the fight this morning? I saw a clash between dozens of S/A and S/R demonstrators, forcefully broken up by the military. And graffiti, posters, ... There is much hate between the factions. Don't believe that the times of religious wars are over. I had the feeling that a new civil war could break out any time." 

------

As if to support Masaki's pessimistic comments, the number of bodyguards that were ordered to secure the involuntary Evangelion pilots' safe return to their residences seemed to have at least tripled. The bus that transported Sadao, Anja, and Rinako, the two remaining bridge bunnies, and also Misato Katsuragi was accompanied by four black limousines that hadn't been present when they were brought to NERV the day before. 

Strangely enough, all streets they passed were empty. When they left the bus in front of their apartment building, there was a moment when Anja thought that she heard a far away explosion, but she wasn't sure. 

------

Earlier on the same day: 

Sugita Arakawa snuck through corridors deep inside of NERV headquarters, corridors that were rarely visited by the people that worked for this century old organization. He opened doors that were passed even less frequently, doors that could be opened only by key cards of a kind that very few Gainaxians possessed. Clearly, a human shouldn't have such a key card at all. 

Finally, behind one of the doors, he found the room he was looking for. The walls of the room were mainly bare. It contained a few pieces of furniture, just enough to allow a person to subsist here. A young Gainaxian girl was sitting on a simple and uncomfortably looking bed. She turned her head towards the intruder. 

"I knew I would find you here," Sugita mumbled. 

"Your intrusion here is very unfortunate, Mr. Arakawa," a voice behind him stated. 

As Sugita attempted to turn around, the coughing sound of a silenced gun was heard. He keeled over. There was no pain, but Sugita could see a rapidly growing red blotch on the chest of his NERV uniform. His world became black. 

"Very unfortunate indeed," the voice stated again. 

The girl on the bed blinked. 

------

Poor Sugita Arakawa. Why was he spying around inside of NERV and who shot him? Will Sadao, Anja, and Rinako defeat the Angel? Come back and read the fabulous fourth chapter   
  


"Actors Strike!"

  
  
**Author's notes**: Once again list of names and role names: 

Rinako Asuhara - Rei Ayanami 

Sadao Inoguchi - Shinji Ikari 

Anja Siebert - Asuka (Langley) Soryu 

Gonkuro Itagaki - Gendo Ikari 

Sugita Arakawa - Shigeru Aoba 

Masaki Hokusai - Makoto Hyuga 

Mutsuko Ishimura - Maya Ibuki 

Many, many thanks to my pre-readers ChiRho, Nova, and XXXG-00W0. 


	4. Actors Strike!

  
  


**Guest Performance**

  
  


by Puddle of LCL

  
  
**Disclaimer**: I'm not Gainax. Eva is not mine. Thank you for your attention.   
  


Chapter 4: Actors Strike!

  
  
Time seemed to pass at a snail's pace that evening at the Katsuragi apartment. At first, Anja had tried to get into contact with President Takudo whenever Misato wasn't around. She had talked to Pen-Pen again and again until she felt like a complete idiot. And if she had interpreted the look in the animal's eyes correctly, the penguin had come to the same conclusion. 

To distract her thoughts from the coming day the actress had begun to read one of Misato's books. Not surprisingly, considering Masaki's claims earlier in the day, Evangelion fanfiction was the only kind of literature in the household. 

Anja had chosen some sentimental Ryoji/Misato romance, but not before scanning through the pages to make sure that it didn't contain any descriptions of Angel fights. One could see that the book had been read very often. The pages with the sex scenes looked especially well-thumbed. 

But Sadao had made other plans. 

He placed himself on the floor, leaning against the couch Anja was lying on and started to watch an action movie. Anja wasn't able to discover any plot worth mentioning in this film. To her it appeared to be just a sequence of Angel attacks, one after another stopped by Unit 01, always after Rei's and Asuka's mechas had been taken out within the first few seconds of the fight. Concentrating on her book became increasingly difficult. 

Finally, the redhead placed it aside. "Do we really have to watch that stuff? This evening?" she asked rhetorically and began to study the TV guide. 

"Huh? Yes, Schatz." Sadao was nibbling on his fingernails and staring at the screen, apparently not really paying attention to her. 

Anja was still browsing through the TV magazine. "What about a Maya/ACC romance comedy instead?" she tried. She knit her brows. "Who is ACC?" 

Suddenly Sadao turned around and put his arms on the couch left and right of Anja. He brought his face close to hers. "What about some serious NC-17 S/A romance instead?" he whispered seductively. 

Anja sighed. "What about no?" 

"What about ..." 

Three things happened in rapid succession. The door to the living room opened. Sadao hit the ground after being pushed away. Anja grabbed the remote control. 

Misato stepped into the room. She was wearing her uniform and ready to go somewhere. "Shinji? Asuka? I wanted ..." she began. 

"I don't need your advice in finding a TV program, idiot," Anja yelled at a perplexed Sadao who was lying to her feet and rubbing his backside. 

"Children," Misato stated in a resigned tone and shook her head. "What are you looking for, Asuka?" 

Anja tried to remember some things she had seen in the TV magazine. "There is a thriller about a mysterious psychopathic killer murdering the NERV staff." She was sure that Asuka would like that film. 

"That's not an appropriate movie for a young girl," Misato muttered, again shaking her head. She obviously still had problems with the concept of a grown-up Asuka. Anja was already fearing that after a few more days she too would begin to believe that she was only fourteen years old as well. 

The Gainaxian woman took the magazine from the couch. She grinned broadly. "On ABC you mean? Sorry to spoil it for you, but the 'mysterious psychopathic killer' is probably you." 

"What?" 

"ABC is the Asuka Bashing Channel. Just press button 1." 

Anja did so. The only thing on the screen though was a message indicating that the program couldn't be broadcast 'for technical reasons'. 

Misato stared worriedly at the screen. "That was to be expected." 

"Expected?" Sadao asked. 

"There have been ... tensions since you arrived here. Bashing the pilots on TV would only make things worse at the moment." She studied the program again. "There should be an A/S romance series running now. Asuka, would you please switch to channel 9?" 

Again the same message. 

Misato grunted something unintelligible and threw the magazine back on the couch. "What I was going to tell you when I came in is that I wanted to personally check-up on the security team. I'll soon be back." 

"Are we in danger?" Anja asked, perhaps hiding her fear a little bit less well than Asuka would. 

"Don't worry too much." Misato left the room. 

Suddenly something came to Anja. She jumped to her feet. "MISATO! Why did you put the Asuka Bashing Channel on program 1 of your TV?" 

All she could hear was laughter and the opening and closing of the front door. 

Sadao stood up too. "So, where did we leave off?" He attempted to wrap his arms around Anja's waist. 

Anja pushed him away, albeit gently. "I said no, Sadao." 

Sadao raised his hands in a mock surrender. "Okay, okay. I just think you should relax a bit. Misato said we shouldn't worry too much. And I tell you we should follow that advice." He grabbed the remote again and let himself fall onto the couch. 

"Relaxing, yes," Anja mumbled and licked her lips. "I need a cigarette. Urgently. I haven't smoked for how many days now? Two?" 

Sadao shook his head and put on a disappointed face. "I thought you quit." 

Anja ignored him. "I need a cigarette," she repeated to herself. 

"Your cigarettes are probably still on Earth." 

Earth. Japan. This was the first time Anja was thinking about home since she had realized that they had been abducted. She asked herself what the people would think about their mysterious disappearance. What would they say when they went back? _Would_ they go back? 

"Let me think." Didn't the movie Misato smoke? When had that been? Which scene ... Anja snapped her fingers. "Misato's bedroom!" She turned around and left the living room. 

Sadao followed her. 

"What do _you_ want there?" the actress asked. 

"I'm just curious." 

"I bet." She opened the door and looked into the room. "That was to be expected." 

There was no square centimeter that wasn't covered with dirty clothes, empty beer cans, or empty fast food boxes. Anja tiptoed towards a bedside table next to Misato's futon. 

Sadao lifted a pair of panties with two fingers. "If I would sell these in my fan shop ..." he thought aloud. 

"Yuck." 

"In a clean state, of course! Or ...?" 

"Sa-da-o." Anja contemplated for a moment. "One second ... You never sold my underwear to fans, did you?" she asked, her eyes narrowed. 

Sadao realized that his attempted joke began to backfire on him. "Of course not!" 

"Swear it!" 

"I swear! I swear!" Sadao cried. 

Although not fully convinced, Anja's thoughts returned to the task at hand. She opened a drawer of the bedside table and rummaged through the contents. She indeed found the cigarettes but also a document with the words "TOP SECRET" printed in red across the first page. "What's that ..." 

"All those panties Rinako permanently puts secretly into my pockets on the other hand ..." Sadao, not any wiser, decided to take another crack at the moment but noticed that his girlfriend - ex-girlfriend in Anja's and only Anja's opinion - wasn't paying attention. She sat down on the futon, reading a paper. 

"Sadao, come over here. You should see this." 

Sadao followed the same tortuous path to the futon Anja had taken and sat down next to her. 

"This," Anja explained, "seems to be a kind of classified document." 

"In Misato's bedroom?" Sadao asked doubtfully. 

"She also spied around in the movies, right?" 

"Only after Kaji's death. A Kaji doesn't exist here, does he?" 

"Details," Anja retorted. She turned pages back and forth, trying to pick up the main parts of the long document as fast as possible. "It's about the Angels. NERV ... the government ... they seem to think that there is something fishy about the return of the Angel." 

"Fishy? What do you mean?" Sadao intervened. 

"I don't know. There's so much text ... Here is another hint that the Evas had been sabotaged. Their souls shouldn't have been so independent ... And nobody understands why they are using The Pilots ..." 

Suddenly, the two actors heard the opening of the front door. 

"Shinji? Asuka? I'm back!" Misato shouted from the corridor. 

Anja stuffed the document back into the drawer. "We have to get outta here." 

Sadao shook his head. "She will see us." 

Steps could be heard from the corridor, heading for the bedroom. 

"Quick," Anja demanded, "give me a plausible reason for us being here." 

"You were looking for cigarettes." 

"Give me a reason for us being here and not opening the drawer, dammit." 

"We ... we ..." Sadao began. 

"Misato's futon is rather broad," Anja said, giving him a strange look. 

Sadao didn't understand this cryptic comment at first. "Yes," he replied hesitatingly, "much broader than my ... Hney! Nlet my nose gno ... nmpf." 

------

When Misato Katsuragi opened the door to her room she was greeted by the view of a very red-faced Shinji Ikari pinned down on the futon by his fellow pilot Asuka Langley Soryu, who was holding his nose and kissing him fiercely. The view was slightly surprising - but not too surprising for somebody who knew the Holy Movies as well as Misato. 

"Oh, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" she teased them. 

Anja broke the kiss and covered Sadao's mouth with her other hand to prevent him (or Shinji) from saying something stupid. This was one of the rare occasions where the Asuka inside her head fully agreed with Anja. 

"Misato!" she shouted, giving a good performance of the bad performed embarrassment she expected Asuka to show in such a situation. "This perverted monster was trying to rape me!" 

"And why are you lying on top of him ..." 

"I was just defending myself." 

"... and French kissing him?" 

"I ... I ... eh ... because he tried to ... eh ..." 

"... to put his tongue into Rei's mouth instead?" 

Anja was very proud of her ability to blush on command. "MISATO!" 

"Perhaps you should allow Shinji to breath now," Misato advised her. "His face is assuming a very interesting color." 

"Oh." She removed her hand from his mouth. 

Sadao took a few deep breaths. "Cnould nyou nalso nlet my nose gno?" 

"Oh." 

Misato sighed. "I'm too tired to think about an adequate punishment now. Asuka, you will go into your room and you will not leave it anymore today. And you better try to sleep. Tomorrow is your big day." 

Anja stomped out of the bedroom, playing the sulking fourteen years old girl as good as possible for a twenty-seven years old woman. "Of course you're on his side!" she complained before she shut her door. 

Inwardly, she was relieved. Misato seemed to enjoy the whole situation too much to think about why 'Shinji' couldn't 'rape' her in another room. And somehow Anja enjoyed it too. 

------

Sadao and Misato sat down on the couch, trying to find another program. Even the action movie Sadao had watched before had been interrupted by now. It took less than ten minutes until Anja's shrill voice sounded through the apartment. "Shinji! Come here, I need your help!" 

Misato couldn't possibly have amused herself more. "Oh Shinji, if you had just said something I would have stayed away for longer," she said between two gulps of beer. 

Anja wasn't the only one of the Eva cast who could give her face a red color when needed. "It wasn't what it looked like." 

"Oh yeah, I'm sure it was much better." 

"IKARI! I'M TALKING TO YOU! ARE YOU DEAF?" Anja yelled. 

Misato nudged Sadao. "You better go." 

"Yes, Misato." He stood up. 

"When you cry for help I'll come in and defend your innocence," Misato added between giggles as he reached Anja's door. 

The redhead was nervously walking up and down in her room. "Listen, Sadao," she began. 

------

"Misato, I'm leaving for a little while. I'll return soon," Sadao shouted from the apartment door about half an hour after he had returned from Anja's room. 

The Captain stuck her head out of the living room. She put on a face as serious as possible in her now already intoxicated state. "Shinji, we can't allow you to leave the building. It's too dangerous at the moment." 

"No, no. I just wanted to visit Rei." 

Misato grinned lewdly. "After ten o'clock? Do you think that's fair to Asuka?" 

"Misato, it's urgent." 

"Yeah, yeah. When I was your age it was always urgent for the boys." She hiccupped. "If you want an advice: You have to learn some self-control." 

"Misato! I'll be back in a quarter of an hour." 

"And I have another one: Take your time. The girls will be grateful." 

"MISATO!" 

------

Rinako was lying on her bed, her hands folded behind her head. There was nothing in her apartment that she could have used to keep herself occupied. 

"Sadao?" she greeted the actor without moving or even making an attempt to stand up. "To what do I owe the displeasure of your visit?" 

"Anja sends me," he answered. 

"Why? I can't remember doing anything bad to her." 

Despite of Anja's constant lamenting, Sadao was convinced that his ability to take things lightly was a blessing not only to him but also to her. Especially when it came to those things that couldn't be changed. But if anything could make him angry at times then it was this woman. 

"Anja sends me because that Misato woman has forbidden her to leave her room and because Asuka would never visit Rei anyway. We found something out, Paleface." He recapitulated what Anja had read in the secret document. "Now we want to know what you think about all that," he concluded. 

Rinako seemed to ponder for a second what Sadao had told her. "We already know that the Evas have most likely been sabotaged. And that there is something strange about the Angel ... well, that could mean anything." 

"And if we just confront Misato or Dr. Akagi with this document?" 

Finally, Rinako brought herself into a sitting position. "They only tell us what they want us to know. They will just deny everything else in any case." 

"How do you know?" 

"Just assume it's a combination of instinct and common sense." 

"And if we refuse to pilot? Don't you think they will send somebody else?" 

Rinako showed a smile that transformed slowly into a broad grin. "Sadao Inoguchi would refuse to pilot a really cool mecha with really cool weapons in a really cool battle against a really cool enemy? I can't believe what I'm hearing." 

"Yes ... no," Sadao answered unsurely. He shrugged. "Well, that's Anja's idea anyway. She worries too much as always. You think killing the Angel wouldn't be as simple as in the movies. But I hope that it won't be as _difficult_ as in the movies. Come on Paleface, Dr. Akagi said it would be an easy job with the positron rifle." 

Rinako did not comment on Sadao's faith in the scientist's claims. "Well, if Anja refuses to pilot they will perhaps just let her go." 

"Fine." 

Rinako stood up from her bed. "Fine? Sadao, you obviously still don't understand what's going on here. Have you been on the balcony this evening?" 

"On the balcony? Why?" 

Rinako's apartment lacked a balcony, but it had a window which she opened now. "Look and listen." 

The only traffic that could be seen were two tanks rolling down the street below. After they had passed by, the faint sounds of gunfire and sirens were heard in the distance. 

"If you ask me, Sadao," Rinako said closing the window again, "the entry plug of an Evangelion is perhaps not the most dangerous place for us at the moment." 

------

At half past one Sadao was lying on his bed, still fully awake. He _was_ worried below his careless surface, more than Anja believed even if perhaps not as much as she would have wished. But he was also excited when he thought about the next day. 

Tomorrow he would throw a gigantic cyborg against an equally powerful enemy. An enemy that could bring an end not only to him but to the whole planet he now was on. A planet by the way, that was not Earth but circling another sun at an unknown distance from his home planet. Anja would have claimed that she had fully realized this situation and that she would therefore be able to behave appropriately. But that certainly wasn't true, Sadao was sure. Even she wouldn't really understand it at gut level before the battle began. Perhaps not even then. 

The door was opened. The woman Sadao had just thought about became visible as a dark silhouette in the doorframe. She whispered his name. 

"Come in, Schatz." 

She kneeled down next to his bed. "You can't sleep either, right?" 

"That's because I'm missing my playstation." 

Sadao knew Anja long enough to almost _feel_ her rolling her eyes in the darkness. "Sa-da-o." 

"It's because I'm missing you," he tried again. 

"Probably still not the whole truth but nice anyway." She took his hand. "I haven't apologized yet," she added. 

Sadao was confused. "What for?" 

"For holding your breath." Anja's voice became playful. "You idiot." 

"You already took my breath away when we became a couple." 

The redhead laughed. "As literally as today, yes." 

"We had to redo the scene seven times." 

"Eight. Anno was cursing like hell. And I hardly understood one out of five words at the time." 

"Believe me, it was better that way." 

"You messed it up on purpose. Just to kiss me again and again." 

"_You_ laughed every time." 

"Because of the faces _you_ pulled. After thirteen years you could finally admit it." 

"I have no idea what you are talking about," the actor replied, not with an ironic tone but in well played confusion. Now both laughed. 

Anja attempted to stand up. "I'd better try to get some sleep." 

Sadao grabbed her arm. "Wait, Anja," he said in an earnest tone the actress very seldom heard from him. She looked at him expectantly. 

"You're worried that I could do something stupid tomorrow that would put us all in danger. You think I'm childish and irresponsible. But when it really counts I'll be there for you. Up to now it just ... never really counted." 

"Sadao ..." 

"Our life was pretty easy since Eva, actually it couldn't have been easier. Only you were always worrying about trifles. But I _know_ that the fight tomorrow will _not_ be a trifle. And I will prove once and for all that you can trust in me." 

"Sadao, you are _not_ the Invincible Shinji. Do you understand that?" Anja regretted her words almost immediately. They sounded harsher than they were meant. 

Sadao didn't mind. "I know. But I can still try and do my best, can't I?" 

Nobody spoke for a few seconds. 

"This is the point where the heroine reminds the hero that it may be their last night alive and has hot, passionate sex with him," Sadao finally remarked. 

Anja smiled and lay her hands on his shoulders. She bend down and gave him a light kiss. "Good night, Sadao." She stood up. 

"You know that I love you?" Sadao asked as the red-haired woman opened the door. 

He saw her silhouette turn around. "I've never doubted that," she answered warmly. The door slid shut leaving Sadao in darkness. 

------

Again, the pilots were sitting in the entry plugs of their Evas. But this time they would go into the battle. The bakelite had been mostly removed from Unit 00 and Unit 02, although at places where it wouldn't hinder the Evas' movement spots of it were still visible on the armor-plating. It was obvious that the technicians had been in a hurry. 

The feeling inside the plugs was different now. The presence of the protecting souls of the Evangelion wasn't as easy to sense anymore as before. The loud prattle of the fangirls had been reduced to an almost inaudible sulking whisper. Dr. Akagi had fulfilled her promise as it seemed. 

"Rei, Shinji, Asuka?" came Captain Katsuragi's voice. "We have five minutes left until the sortie. There is somebody who wants to talk to you." 

The three pilots barely had the time to make surprised or confused noises before the face of President Takudo appeared on the holographic monitors of the entry plugs. "Good morning. I didn't want to deprive myself of the honor to personally wish you good luck on your mission. Please be assured that there isn't a single Gainaxian who isn't convinced that you will be victorious ..." 

"Excuse me, Mr. President," Anja interrupted him, "but we are a little bit worried about the riots in the city. Our escort this morning had been reinforced again and ..." 

"Ahahaha," Takudo laughed. "I wouldn't call these riots. Some citizens are just a little bit excited about your visit to Gainax and reacted overly emotional. But our security forces have the situation fully under control." He raised his thumb. "As I already said, the whole nation of Gainax is convinced that you will win this battle and ..." 

Again, the president was interrupted, this time from a bodyguard who entered the screen from the left. "Sir, if the helicopter doesn't start now the _Bitchslap_ won't be able to lift off before the Evangelions meet the Angel." 

"Is my family already on board?" the president asked. The bodyguard nodded. 

Takudo turned back to the pilots. "Please excuse me now, I have an urgent appointment. Politics, you understand." The monitors deactivated themselves. 

After an awkward silence, Misato cleared her throat over the comm. "The Angel is approaching from the south-east. You will advance until you reach the last power supply station, plug in there, and take cover. Shinji will destroy the Angel using the positron rifle. That's all." 

"And if anything goes wrong?" Sadao asked. 

"The probability that something will go wrong is 0.0000001 percent, Shinji," Dr. Akagi intervened. 

"You mean something will go wrong _for certain_," Anja screamed. 

"Whining will get us nowhere," Misato said sharply. "Launch Evas!" 

"I'm not whin..." Anja began before the force of the sudden acceleration took her breath away. 

------

Mutsuko Ishimura and Masaki Hokusai were working together with a real Lieutenant of NERV. Sugita Arakawa was still missing, and the Gainaxians didn't seem to know his whereabouts either. That was at least what Captain Katsuragi and Dr. Akagi had repeatedly claimed. 

Both Gainaxian women were talking to each other in whispers. Mutsuko tried to listen but could rarely understand a thing. It seemed to her that the topic was the violent clashes between S/A and S/R factions within the population. Even the words 'uprising', 'military revolts', and 'insurrection' were dropped. 

Gonkuro was sitting several meters above them at his desk, his hands folded in front of his face as it was typical for Commander Ikari. He hadn't said anything up to now. 

The main holographic display showed the tactical situation. The Evas had reached the surface and walked towards the Angel, using the buildings that hadn't been retracted into the geofront as cover. Soon they had reached the periphery of the inner city beyond which no power supply stations existed. 

"Stay there," Misato commanded. "The Angel is 20 km away and approaching." 

------

Anja wouldn't have guessed that the Angel was still so far away. Its enormous size made it appear much closer. Its spider-like movements seemed to be much quicker than in the movies although this could have been just an illusion due to her fear. For the umpteenth time since the Evas had been launched she tried to project an AT field, still without knowing how to and still without success. Not that it really mattered. She wouldn't have been able to face her enemy in a hand-to-hand combat. In fact she was already proud to be able to make her Eva walk without stumbling. 

In Sadao's entry plug the targeting mechanism slowly came down on his face. The Angel was now less than 10 km away and almost close enough to make it harder to miss than to hit. Sadao pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. 

"What are you waiting for?" Captain Katsuragi asked via the comm. 

"It's not working!" He tried again to fire. 

"Release the goddamned safety, idiot!" Anja shouted. 

"I did already! I know this rifle. It's one of the most popular items in my fan sh..., I mean, NERV's armory." 

Anja who knew Sadao suddenly had a terrible vision of Unit 01, staring into the gun barrel to find out what was wrong while fumbling around with the trigger. She had to do something. 

Unit 02 jumped over to Unit 01. "Gimme that, idiot," Anja let her Asuka personality hiss. The Angel had almost reached the Evas by now. 

Anja aimed and pulled the trigger. This time something happened. The positron rifle exploded in the red Eva's hands. 

Anja cried out in pain and hid her hands under her ankles. 

------

The crew of Central Dogma witnessed on the screens how Anja's mecha broke down to its knees and fell over. 

"Asuka, Shinji, Rei retreat and regroup!" Captain Katsuragi ordered. Nobody reacted for a few seconds. Then the Angel was above Eva 02. Anja's screams echoed again through the giant hall as the acid the creature produced burned its way through the red armor of Unit 02's back. 

"Maya, cut the neural connections, eject the plug." 

Balthasar reacted. "**Ts, ts.**" was the text that appeared on Mutsuko's monitor. "**Does that woman really know the Holy Movies?**" 

"It's not working!" Mutsuko screamed. 

"**Yup.**" 

------

"Shinji, Rei, retreat," Misato Katsuragi repeated. 

Finally Sadao overcame his paralysis. Unit 01 left his cover and stormed towards the Angel. "Aaaanjaaaa!" 

------

Dr. Akagi was delivering an incoherent explanation about 'Anja' being Asuka's lesser known middle name when Unit 01 ran into the Angel's AT field. The effect was the same as if it had hit a concrete wall. The Eva fell down, rose again, and attacked a second time with the same result. 

Anja had stopped screaming. She was probably unconscious by now. 

Unit 01 attacked a third time, and this time something was different. 

"**Eh ...**", Balthasar typed, "**you won't believe it, but ...**" 

"We're detecting another AT field! It's neutralizing the other one," Masaki shouted. 

"**What a cliché.**" 

------

Sadao's mind was barely capable of rational thoughts anymore as he rammed against the invisible barrier another time. But some part of him still noted that he had broken through. Without reducing his speed he collided with the enemy that was attacking Anja. He drew his progressive knife and began to blindly stab the Angel's body again and again. 

Rinako's voice brought the actor back to his senses. "I think you can stop now, Sadao," she remarked over a private channel. 

Sadao looked down at the gigantic spider. The red core was shattered into pieces. Unit 02 lay half buried under the dead Angel. 

"The blue pattern has vanished," Masaki's unbelieving voice came over the comm. "The target has gone silent." 

"Anja? Anja, do you hear me?" 

------

Anja found herself sitting on a chair in the middle of an otherwise empty stage. That changed as a chubby little red-haired girl appeared in front of her out of nowhere. 

"Tah-dah!" she shouted and spread her arms. 

"What's going on here? And who are you?" the actress asked confused, turning her head left and right. 

"You have been knocked out, Anja. Your Eva-experienced subconsciousness decided that it was the perfect opportunity for some weird introspection scene. That's why I'm here. Don't you recognize me? It's me. I mean, you. Or better: your younger self." 

Anja stared at the little child. "I was never that fat." 

"Oh yes, you were. And you weren't constantly worrying back then." 

"I'm not constantly worrying!" 

"But only thanks to the efforts of your boyfriend." 

"EX-boyfriend!" 

The girl tapped impatiently with her right foot on the floor. "Our time is too short for this chit-chat, Anja. We have to talk about some really important issues." 

"What for?" the real Anja interrupted. "I'm perfectly sane and need no pseudo-psychological advice." 

"I won't comment on that. You're at least definitely quite stupid. Have you for example ever thought about ..." 

------

Twelve very important people were surprised by the course of events. 

SEELE 12 spoke. "The victory of the actors over the Angels was rather unexpected." 

"Both our plan and that of our enemy has failed," SEELE 08 stated. 

"And we're beginning to lose the control over the planet," SEELE 03 added. "Anarchy is spreading." 

"It is not certain yet that our plan has failed," SEELE 05 disagreed. "It is very likely that our enemy will send another creature." 

"Indeed," SEELE 01 supported the last speaker. "If NERV's latest reports are true, we will have another opportunity to carry out our plan even sooner than expected." 

------

The crew of Central Dogma was celebrating their victory since the external scanners had confirmed the death of the Angel. Misato was walking around, giving out beer cans like a proud father does with cigars. These cans were apparently coming from a gigantic reservoir she had hidden somewhere deep inside the Magi computers. 

"Will they take us back home now?" Mutsuko Ishimura asked Dr. Akagi who was looking at the main monitor. It showed the Evangelions entering the Geofront. Unit 02 was on its feet again but got support from the two others. 

"Yes. After your job is finished," the doctor replied. 

"Finished? But the Angel is dead." 

"_This_ Angel is dead, yes." 

"You aren't trying to say ..." 

"Look." The blonde pointed at several scales on Mutsuko's console. "That means that the sensors have detected another blue pattern." 

"**Oops. Unfortunately, that's true.**" Balthasar added. 

Dr. Akagi looked at the happily celebrating crowd. She knew that her next sentence spoken over the comm would abruptly ruin the day of several dozens of people. Such opportunities were one of the reasons why she loved her job. 

------

"Another Angel?" 

Anja was again lying in the infirmary. Sadao and Rinako had just entered the room and were now standing on opposite sides of the bed. 

"Yes," Rinako nodded. "It looks like the 14th. And it's much faster than the last one. The Akagi clone said it would arrive here in a few hours. She swears that the rifle will work this time." 

"Two employees are missing," Sadao added. "Misato thinks that they've sabotaged the rifle." 

Anja tried to stand up. She was feeling a little bit dizzy, but her legs seemed to carry her weight. The doctors had told her that she hadn't received any physical injuries. There weren't even any new effusions. She sat down again as Misato Katsuragi entered the room. 

"Are you okay, Asuka?" the Captain asked. 

Anja wasn't surprised about Misato's visit since she had asked the doctors to call her. During the time of her unconsciousness her younger self had called her attention to a few interesting points. 

"Hello, Misato. It's good that you are here. I have a few questions." 

The Captain looked bemused. "Questions?" 

"Yes. To start with: Why doesn't NERV use their own pilots to fight the Angels?" 

"SEELE said ..." Rinako began. 

"We've seen NERV in action," Anja interrupted. "Apart from the sabotage it looks like a perfectly working organization to me. It seems unbelievable that they don't have trained pilots." She looked at Misato. "Right?" 

Misato was obviously beginning to feel uneasy. "You wouldn't want us to send some rookies into the battle when we can use the combat experienced real pilots, like the great Asuka Langley Soryu." She looked back into Anja's eyes. "Right?" 

Anja shook her head. "Misato, you're NERV's director of operations and have access to classified documents you hide in your bedroom - legally or not. Stop giving us the holy pilots crap." 

The Gainaxian Captain took a seat next to Anja's bed. Her voice became business-like. "Okay, Ms. Siebert. You've got me." 

Sadao stared at her, surprised. "You knew the whole time who we were?" 

Misato shrugged and smiled. "I just thought that living together with Shinji and Asuka for some days would be more interesting than living together with Sadao and Anja. No offense." 

Rinako grunted amused. "I wouldn't describe Sadao as uninteresting. In the same way I wouldn't describe a bludgeon to my head as uninteresting." 

"I love you too, Paleface," Sadao replied sarcastically. 

"Okay," Misato interrupted the beginning quarrel. "What do you want to know?" 

"Everything you know," Anja just answered. 

"That isn't as much as you might think. Yes, NERV has pilots but they disappeared shortly before you arrived. Yes, I know what SEELE told you regarding their reasons to kidnap you but that doesn't make sense. It would've been possible to clone copies of you within hours to fool the public, you know? Fourteen years old and equipped with souls that have a fitting ... mentality, even. And no, I don't know who sabotaged the Evas twice. Have I forgotten something?" 

"What was so unusual about the Angel?" Sadao asked. 

"Apart from the fact that it appeared a millennium after the last one? The patterns weren't exactly like they should be. There were theories within NERV that it was a new construction, not a regenerated Angel. And now, after a new one appeared within _minutes_ after you had beaten the first it's at least clear that somebody sends them. More questions?" 

"Sugita Arakawa," Anja simply said. 

Misato looked at her feet. "I really don't know what happened to him, believe me. But I don't have high hopes." 

The three actors said nothing for a few seconds. Sadao clenched his hands into fists. 

"Could it be that somebody sabotages our efforts to force SEELE to bring back the pilots, the real pilots? And even tries to kill us?" he finally asked. Anja and even Rinako gave him a surprised and impressed look. 

"If SEELE has the pilots and doesn't use them, for whatever reason, then they're playing a dangerous game, no doubt," Misato replied reluctantly. "They would put the whole planet at risk. You don't have to be a bad person to try _everything_ to bring the pilots back. Even if it means to kill you all. I was already thinking along the same lines, Sadao. But still, it's just a theory." 

"Thank you for being open with us, Misato," Anja said thankfully. "I'll be there as soon as the doctors release me. I just hope that this Angel will be the last." 

"We all do," the purple-haired woman replied. "That means you will fight for us again?" 

"Do we have an alternative?" Anja asked resignedly. 

"Not really. But thank you anyway." Misato stood up and left the room. 

Anja's resigned expression changed as soon as Misato had closed the door. "Do you believe her?" she asked her two colleagues. 

"Yes," Rinako replied. 

"I don't know. And you?" Sadao asked back. 

Anja rubbed her chin. "I think your theory makes sense. Hell, even Misato could try to kill us if that brings back the pilots." The actress felt a bit guilty. She liked Misato and wanted to believe her. But at the moment she couldn't trust anybody. She stood up. "Where is my stuff? My dress?" 

"Here," Rinako replied and handed her a bag she had brought with her. With only her and Sadao watching, Anja saw no problem in changing her clothes immediately. "I won't pilot that thing again," she said while putting on her shirt. "I'm going." 

"Do you think that is a good idea?" Rinako asked her doubtfully. 

"Do you have a better one?" Anja retorted. 

"You're afraid," her best friend stated. 

"Yes, Rinako, I'm afraid. I could have died out there. And you and Sadao too." 

"That's right," Sadao supported her. 

"But we haven't." 

"It's easy for you to say that, Rinako. The Angel hasn't poured acid over _your_ back." 

"It wasn't your back, Anja. It was Unit 02's back," Rinako contradicted. 

"Don't start splitting hairs." 

Her best friend shook her head. "Do you think you can just walk out of the building? And where do you want to go? They don't tell us much, but I think the situation out there is getting worse. There are riots everywhere. The TV stations are sending just plotless happy-sappy movies. Mutsuko even heard something about revolting military. If they recognize you ..." 

Involuntarily, Sadao's hand went to his throat. 

"Yes, I'm going. We're all going. And Section Two will protect us." Anja took another item out of her bag that wasn't a piece of clothing. 

------

A shrill voice sounded through the corridors of the hospital. "I SAID I WANT TO SPEAK THE MEDICAL SUPERINTENDENT! I AM A FUCKING EVANGELION PILOT. I PROTECT YOUR SORRY ASSES OUT THERE, DAMMIT!" 

The chief physician arrived at the hospital room of Asuka Langley Soryu in a jogtrot. Two doctors were already standing in front of the door but the First and Second Child were refusing them entry. 

"There is somebody who wants to talk to you," the redheaded pilot said, smirking arrogantly and pointing at the door. 

The doctor looked around. "Who? The Third Child? Wasn't he visiting you too?" 

The pilot looked at her fingernails. "He went for the washing rooms." 

The room behind the door was dark. A rectangular solid was standing on the desk next to the bed, labeled 'SEELE 01'. 

"I have an order for you," it thundered as the physician entered. "The pilots need the assistance of the hospital's security personnel on a secret mission." 

------

"And?" Anja asked as the doctor had left and she and Rinako were helping Sadao up from under the bed. 

"We're getting an ambulance, a driver, and four men security. And I have given him strict orders not to tell anybody at NERV about our 'mission'," Sadao answered, putting his SEELE action figure into a pocket. "He promised that they'll come for us in less than fifteen minutes." 

Anja was satisfied. "Perfect. All we have to do is to hide somewhere for a few hours until somebody else fought that Angel." 

The actress made a sound of relief, sat down on the bed, and looked at Sadao. She indicated him to sit down next to her. "I haven't found the time yet ..." 

Rinako mumbled something about fresh air and left the room before Sadao could even blink twice. 

"... to thank you." Anja smiled warily. "It seems I missed the important seconds but the doctors told me that you ..." 

"I promised you that you could count on me, didn't I?" Sadao answered proudly. "Well, I also promised to show some responsibility and not to do something stupid. But it was impossible to keep both promises at the same time." He smiled and looked at her, puppy-eyed. "I hope you're not angry at me." 

"Sadao, you're ..." 

The actor inched closer. "That is the point where the heroine declares her eternal love to the hero and has hot, ..." 

"... passionate sex with him, I know," Anja concluded. She shook her head but smiled also. She began again. "Sadao, you're ..." 

He brought his face close to hers and looked into her eyes. "Yes?" 

Anja leaned back to increase the distance between their faces again. "... behaving like always." 

Sadao reduced the distance again. "Like the man who makes you laugh when you're worried." 

Another retreat by Anja. "Or the boy." 

And another approach by Sadao. "Whatever you prefer." 

"Stop that, Sadao," she demanded half seriously, now already pressing her elbows into the bed to support her upper body. 

"Stop what?" 

"A few more centimeters and we'll be lying flat on the bed." 

"Oh, really?" 

The door was opened. Anja jumped into a sitting position, causing her head to collide with Sadao's. 

Two Gainaxians entered, wearing the typical Section Two outfit. If they were surprised by the look of two Evangelion Pilots groaning and holding their heads they didn't show it. 

"Please follow us," one of them said. "The medical superintendent and Pilot Ayanami have already explained the situation. Please be assured that we will do anything to protect you on this mission." 

"Eh ... Thank you," Sadao said awkwardly. 

"Yeah, yeah," Anja muttered. She looked around when they reached the corridor. Two more agents were standing here. "Where's the First?" 

"Pilot Ayanami is already waiting in the ambulance," the agent replied after a split second of hesitation that neither Anja nor Sadao noticed. 

------

The two actors and three of the bodyguards entered the back of the ambulance, the forth one sat down next to the driver. Rinako wasn't there. "Hey, where is Wondergirl?" Anja yelled at the agents as they closed the door. The van started immediately. 

One of the agents took a folded piece of paper out of his jacket. "Pilot Ayanami has asked us to give you this message, Pilot Ikari," he answered and handed Sadao the letter. 

Sadao began to read. "What is it?" Anja asked impatiently. 

"Read it," the actor said. 

"What does she say?" 

"Just read it," he repeated. 

Anja began to read. It was definitely Rinako's handwriting. 

"_Sadao! _

I thought it would be out of character for Rei to instruct the agents to give this letter directly to Asuka, so you'll get it. But it's of course not really for you. So please pass it over to Anja. Now. Thanks. 

Dear Anja! 

I'm not coming with you. I think your plan will work and you'll hopefully be safe as long as you have the bodyguards. But there are still risks. I've decided to try my luck here. A 'stupid Wondergirl' would be in order now." 

"Stupid Wondergirl," Anja muttered. 

"_I don't think that they'll let me pilot alone if they really have trained pilots. But if they haven't then somebody has to fire that positron gun, right? I didn't tell you this personally because I didn't want you or Sadao to play the hero. _

The bodyguards think that I'm on a related but more dangerous mission. I explained to them that Asuka or Shinji may try to stop me and do the job by themselves (even if for quite different reasons) and screw their own mission up. Believe me, they won't allow it. 

Don't worry too much and watch after your boyfriend. Good luck. 

Rinako." 

An 'EX' had subsequently been squeezed between the words 'your' and 'boyfriend'. 

"_P. S.: If your plan has worked so far you're probably already on a car train by now._" 

That was indeed the case. Nobody at NERV HQ had bothered to control a leaving ambulance car. 

"Have you read that, I mean all of it?" Anja asked Sadao. 

"Yes." 

Anja shook her head. "Stupid Wondergirl." 

The agent on the front passenger seat opened a little window to the back of the van. "We'll arrive at the surface soon. If you inform us about our destination now we'll be able to avoid the most dangerous areas," he said. "I must advise you not to enter the combat zones in the eastern parts of the city if possible." 

Sadao opened his mouth. He wasn't really planning to say something but he thought that Shinji should at least attempt to speak before Asuka would interrupt him. Which, of course, was exactly what happened. 

Anja could only guess how these 'combat zones' exactly looked like but it was probably really a good idea not to enter them. "Just head westwards, leave the city on the shortest route, and avoid population centers," Anja answered in an arrogant tone. "You'll get more information as soon as it'll become necessary, but not beforehand." 

"Yes, Pilot Soryu." 

------

Anja and Sadao couldn't talk while the bodyguards were listening and Asuka and Shinji didn't have anything to say. So they remained mostly silent during the trip. Some time after they had left the city they suddenly felt the car slowing down. 

The agent in front opened the little window again. "There is a NERV helicopter blocking the road. They're signaling us to stop." 

Sadao and Anja exchanged a glance. Anja shrugged. "It could have worked," she said down-heartedly as they left the car. 

Misato was standing in front of the helicopter, her arms crossed. "That was a very stupid move." 

------

Will Anja and Sadao be forced to fight the next Angel? And is it really the last this time? What exactly is the plan of SEELE, and who is their enemy? Some of these questions will be answered in the next chapter:   
  


"Girlfriend Not Real."

  
  
**Author's notes**: If you didn't understand what SEELE 01 is doing in the hospital because you've read too many other fanfictions since chapter 2: Take another look at that chapter. The scene you need is near the end. 

The story is now almost finished. All we have to find out is who is The Evil, what's the meaning of its symbol, who shot Sugita, who was the girl on the bed (Oh, come on!), who sabotaged the Evas, what's SEELE's plan, what's inside of room HA 1-25, and other things I don't remember at the moment. I tried to answer all these questions in a single (albeit long) chapter. It however turned out to be so long that it was better to split it. That means there will be six chapters altogether. 

As always, the list: 

Rinako Asuhara - Rei Ayanami 

Sadao Inoguchi - Shinji Ikari 

Anja Siebert - Asuka (Langley) Soryu 

Gonkuro Itagaki - Gendo Ikari 

Sugita Arakawa - Shigeru Aoba 

Masaki Hokusai - Makoto Hyuga 

Mutsuko Ishimura - Maya Ibuki 

Prereading was done by ChiRho and XXXG-00W0 and I'm grateful as always. 


	5. Girlfriend Not Real

  
  


**Guest Performance**

  
  


by Puddle of LCL

  
  
**Disclaimer**: I'm not Gainax. Eva is not mine. Thank you for your attention.   
  


Chapter 5: Girlfriend Not Real

  
  
Anja and Sadao knew that they had lost. Neither of them wanted to harm Misato, and ordering their bodyguards to defeat them would have been madness anyway. The result would have been a certain and bloody defeat against the troop that accompanied the Captain and was now pointing their sub-machine guns at the actors. 

"Did she tell you about our plan?" Anja asked Misato. 

"Ri ... eh ... Rei you mean? She was quite eager to tell us after I explained the situation to her." 

"What situation?" Sadao wanted to know. 

The Captain didn't answer directly. She licked at her index finger and held it up into the air. She pointed to her right. "That is south, correct?" she asked one of her subordinates. 

"Yes, Ma'am," he answered and tapped on his earpiece. "We will be informed immediately if the wind direction changes." 

"Wind direction?" Sadao asked. 

"Just a little problem," Misato answered. "No need to worry." She entered the helicopter and looked at the actors. "Are you coming?" 

"What kind of little problem?" Anja demanded. 

"Well, an important Soryu shrine was nuked," Misato answered casually, "100 km north-west from here. But it was only a small tactical warhead, and we have a southern wind at the moment. As I said: No need to worry. Oh, the hot spot lies in the direction of this road by the way." 

Anja went pale. "N-Nuked?" 

Misato seemed to get annoyed. "Yes. The WAFF has already claimed responsibility." 

Sadao was confused. "The ... WAFF? What?" 

"The Weirdest of Ayanami's Fanatical Followers. A terror group. Now come on. Or should we carry you?" 

------

The helicopter was big enough to also carry Sadao's and Anja's bodyguards. The ambulance was abandoned. 

"Could you please repeat the last situation report for the pilots?" Misato screamed at the co-pilot against the noise of the starting aircraft. 

"The riots are spreading on all continents, Captain," the man screamed back. " The government has lost control over large parts of the armed forced including almost the complete spaceforce. The president has apparently been killed two hours ago when the G.U.N.S. _Bitchslap_ was destroyed by the _Military Otaku_, and we have had no contact with SEELE. There were two more nuclear attacks by unknown parties near Kobe and Osaka. The mutineers on board the _Pride of Soryu_ are threatening to begin with N2-bombardments from orbit if the wedding of the Second and Third Child won't be announced within the next twenty-four hours. A similar ultimatum but concerning the Third and the First came from the G.U.N.S. _Not Your Doll_. Members of the government were taken hostage by a group that seems to demand the proclamation of a dogma concerning the identity of the soul of Unit 00. In ..." 

"Eh ... what does that all mean?" Sadao asked, interrupting the listing. 

"More little problems," Misato just answered. "Do you have new information about the GSSDF forces that have entered the city?" 

"They have taken two entries to the Geofront and are advancing fast. They're coming from a nearby garrison and have apparently been infiltrated by followers of Mana Kirishima." 

Sadao didn't know where to put that name. "Mana who?" 

"Mana Kirishima," Misato explained. "A mythological girlfriend of you, Shinji. She doesn't appear in the Holy Movies, only in the Apocrypha. Her followers mean no threat to you, but if they get Asuka or Rei ..." She slid a finger across her throat. 

Anja was horrified. "And you will bring us back there?" 

"There is no safe place anymore, Asuka. And there is still an Angel to fight," Misato replied. "You don't want to leave all the glory to Rei, do you?" 

Anja got the message Misato wanted to transmit. 

"They would ..." 

Misato nodded sternly. "Yes." 

------

"Captain Katsuragi has arrived in Tokyo-5," Sub-commander Fuyutsuki informed the man who was officially his superior. "The Second and Third are with her. She will try to enter the Geofront at an entry point that is still held by loyal troops." 

Gonkuro Itagaki was sitting at his desk in Central Dogma, staring straight ahead at no specific point. "If they are not able to arrive in time I will send Rei together with the Lance instead of a possibly sabotaged positron gun." 

"This is not advisable, Ikari. As long as the Lance is in place a Fourth Impact is not possible." 

Now Gonkuro turned his head to face Fuyutsuki. "I will not allow the only pilot that is currently at our disposal to be exposed to any avoidable danger." 

The Gainaxian Fuyutsuki gave him a knowing look. "Commander." The irony was obvious as he spoke that word. "We both know that you shouldn't decide that alone." 

Gonkuro didn't answer. 

"The GSSDF troops have entered NERV HQ in Section 104 of Level 1," Masaki Hokusai reported from below. 

------

It was already late in the afternoon when Anja and Sadao reached Tokyo-5 again. Misato had decided that a helicopter was too vulnerable close to the front lines and had given order to land on the roof of their apartment building, which was located in a still safe part of the city. She, Sadao, and Anja were traveling the final distance in her Renault Alpine. The fact that a full blown military conflict between two or even more factions was raging not far from them couldn't be missed. Smoke columns rose from parts of the city that had looked relatively peaceful just hours before. Noise from artillery fire rocked the car intermittently. 

"The GSSDF has entered headquarters somewhere. But it's still possible to reach the Evas," Misato explained the radio messages she was listening to. 

"Why do I have a constant feeling of deja vu?" an unnerved Anja screamed from behind. She and Sadao flinched as a bullet embedded itself in the car door, most likely fired by a sniper nested in one of the buildings lining the street. 

"Ah, you're imagining things, Anja." 

"What do these Kiriyama ..." Sadao began. 

"Mana Kirishima," Misato corrected. 

"... people want at NERV anyway? Just to get Asuka or Rei?" 

Misato concentrated on the rubble-laden road in front of them. "Among other things. This really isn't the time for a theological seminar, but NERV always had a somewhat orthodox standpoint when it came to the Apocrypha. Thus they never acknowledged the Kirishima myth. And Mana Kirishima is said to have worked for a competitor of NERV, the real NERV I mean. That makes NERV and the Kirishima worshippers sworn enemies." 

"Why haven't you told us before that we're in the middle of a civil war?" Anja asked accusingly. 

"I didn't want to worry you. And things went rapidly downhill within the last hours. A lot of parties expected Fourth Impact to happen and tried to be in a good position to pick up the pieces afterwards - if there were any. I'm really sorry, Anja. But if you hadn't tried to run away ..." 

The actress let herself fall back into her seat. "Why haven't the real pilots shown up?" she quietly asked on. 

Misato sharply turned the steering wheel to the right to avoid a burning car on their side of the road. "I don't know, Anja. And Ritsuko swears that it would be too late to reprogram the Evas anyway. If you're not there in time they'll send Rinako alone." There was a pause before she went on talking. "I'm sorry about what I said to you in the hospital, about Shinji and Asuka being more interesting, I mean," she confessed earnestly, "I really like you both. I wish I could just send you home now. But we need you one more time. I'm really sorry." 

------

"The Angel will land in about fifteen minutes," Masaki announced. "Captain Katsuragi, Pilot Ikari, and Pilot Soryu have arrived at a car train and are descending. The GSSDF has taken two Sections on Level 2." 

"After all we've been through our final enemy is our fellow Gainaxian," Fuyutsuki noted reflectively. 

"There is still also the Angel, Professor," Gonkuro corrected. 

"Oh, I just felt like saying it." 

------

The human actors and the Gainaxian Captain of NERV had reached the end of the car train. Misato pointed straight ahead to the end of a corridor where a lonely guard in a NERV uniform stood next to a metal door. "There's the elevator. It'll bring you directly to the cages." She turned around and stared upwards. "The GSSDF will soon take this entry. We better hurry." 

"What for?" Anja mumbled. "When the Angel doesn't kill us we'll get slaughtered afterwards by some fanatical weirdoes. We can just as well get killed right here." 

Misato growled. "Anja, this isn't the time ..." 

Sadao had never before seen Anja in the kind of state she was now in. The Angel attack, the failed escape, and now the fact that the Gainaxians themselves tried to kill her while the whole planet seemed to go to hell had brought her close to a breaking point. "Hey, come on, Schatz," he interrupted the Captain. "We're the heroes in this play, remember? They owe us at least a final kiss scene with the setting sun in the background." Anja just shook her head. 

"Violins, fade to black, and afterwards hot, passionate ..." Sadao went on. 

"Shut up, Sadao," Anja interrupted him. Despite her harsh words her voice lacked any emotions. 

"Captain Katsuragi?" the guard asked respectfully as the trio reached the elevator. 

"I'm bringing the Second and Third to the Evas. Rei should already be waiting there," she said, pressing the elevator button, barely looking at him. 

"Yes," the guard said with a strange tone in his voice. "Rei is surely already waiting for Asuka." 

Misato looked at him more carefully. "Shouldn't you be on the night shift, Private ..." 

Without warning, the guard drew his gun and shot her in the chest. Misato's body was thrown against the side wall of the corridor where it slowly slid down, leaving a red mark. 

"Misato!" Anja cried and kneeled down next to her. 

The guard turned around, not paying attention to Anja any longer. He looked hatefully at Sadao and pointed his weapon to the actors forehead. "I'm _not_ sorry, kid. And this _is_ personal." 

Sadao just stared in shock at the guard as he put pressure on the trigger. 

"NOOO!" Anja tackled the guard and grabbed a hold of his back. The bullet missed Sadao's head by a few centimeters. 

The NERV employee swung left and right, trying to get rid of his attacker while still keeping the gun trained on Sadao. 

"You stupid girl, I'm just doing this for you and her, can't you see?" He threw Anja over his shoulder and to the floor. Then he took aim again. Sadao closed his eyes. 

As he heard the shot and found that he was still alive he opened them again. The guard was lying on the ground, a hole in his head. Misato leaned against the wall, still holding her gun, her whole arm trembling. Her other hand was pressed against her chest. Blood was running through her fingers. 

Sadao kneeled down to her. "A-are you alright?" 

Misato blinked and shook her head as if to clear her thoughts. "He was a member of an A/R church," she just explained. "No fanatic, or so we thought." Her breathing was now extremely labored. 

Anja joined Sadao and Misato on the ground and took one of the wounded woman's hands in hers. "Misato, we ... we have to get you to a doctor." 

The Captain coughed blood. "I always thought ... when this happened ... I would finally understand the carpet thing." Her eyes filmed over. 

Anja's voice trembled. "M-Misato? Misato, no ..." She grabbed her shoulders and began to shake her. "MISATO!" 

From high above, probably from the other end of the car train, an explosion was heard. 

Anja put the dead Misato's head into her lap and began to caress her purple hair, weeping. Sadao softly touched her shoulder. "Schatz, we have to go. We're not safe here." 

"I don't want to, Sadao," the actress replied almost inaudibly. "Just let me." 

He took her hand. "Anja ..." 

"NO!" she screamed at him, forcefully freeing her hand again. She absently continued to stroke Misato's hair. 

Sadao dropped his shoulders. Somehow he had already suspected that there wouldn't be a kiss in the sunset this time. Such an ending just wouldn't be fitting for Eva. He sank to the ground and embraced Anja from behind. "Then we'll stay here together for a while until you're ready to leave, huh?" 

Anja first tensed under his touch but then slowly relaxed and leaned back into him. "Sadao?" she whispered. 

"Yes?" 

"You know that I love you?" 

Sadao closed his arms tighter around her body as another explosion rippled through the building from above. "I never doubted that." 

------

"_Wimp._" 

"_Excuse me?_" 

"_You're just a pathetic coward, Anja._" 

"_Says who?_" 

"_You should know who I am, you stupid woman. A part of you. And certainly the best part, I might add._" 

"_Shut up._" 

"_What? WHAT? You use me on your silly convention shows but when you really need me I should shut up. Okay. Stay here and die and let your friends die too. I don't care._" 

"_Are you an expert for friendship now?_" 

"_Phht. What are you, a psychologist? I have a lot of friends._ Everybody _adores me. Now stop lamenting, stand up, and let's kick some Angel ass together._" 

"_And the GSSDF rebels? They will invade NERV, cut off our power supply, and kill us._" 

"_We'll find a way._" 

"_What does that mean? Do you have a plan or not?_" 

"_Plans, plans, plans. God, you're so boring. I said, we'll find a way._" 

"_..._" 

"_Well?_" 

------

Anja carefully, almost tenderly let Misato's dead body slide to the ground. "This leads to nowhere," she mumbled. 

Sadao, deep in thoughts, returned to reality. "What did you say?" he asked. 

Anja stood up and entered the waiting elevator. She looked expectingly at Sadao. "What are you waiting for? There's still a job Misato wanted us to do." 

Sadao stared at her open-mouthed before he stood up too. He had the strong feeling that he had missed something important. 

Inside the slowly descending elevator Anja laid her arms on Sadao's shoulders. "Promise me you'll take care of yourself when we go out," she requested. 

"Sunset, kiss," Sadao began, "violins, fade to black. Hot, pass ..." 

He made a muffled sound of surprise as Anja pushed him firmly against one of the walls of the car and used the most agreeable method to silence him. 

"You're normally not that aggressive, Schatz," Sadao noted smiling as she retracted her tongue and lips again several floors lower. "Is that really you?" 

"Mostly, I think." 

------

The advancing GSSDF forces could neither be heard nor seen inside of Central Dogma yet. All Mutsuko had to monitor the invasion was a rapidly reddening schematic plan of NERV and the impersonal reports by Balthasar. 

"**It seems that they've taken the last holdouts on Level 2.**" 

And, of course, the memories of similar scenes from 'End of Evangelion'. 

"**They've got section 402, 403, and 417 to 424. Now, that looks pretty bad if you ask me. They took the last holdouts on Level 2, or did I say that already?**" 

"Yes," Mutsuko mumbled. She wondered about what lies the soldiers had been told or if they were just blindly following their officers' orders. 

"**Oh, I'm sorry. At the moment I'm mostly preoccupied with uploading myself to a server at a safer place. You know how it is: You always discover that you have no backup when it's too late.**" 

"Upload?" 

"**Well, I'm already more there than here, so it's more a download than an upload. You're a fast learner, Mutsuko. You can handle the rest without me. Sorry, I really liked you. But now it's every AI for itself.**" 

"Shinji and Asuka are now at the cages. The Angel has reached the surface," Masaki declared next to Mutsuko. She almost had to admire how he could keep this professional, distant tone. 

------

The Evangelions were not covered in bakelite as Sadao had secretly expected. Rinako was waiting for them. She was sitting on the floor with her legs crossed, directly in front of the bridge that led to the entry plug of Unit 00. Two plugsuits and A-10 nerve connectors were lying in her lap. 

"Back from your little trip?" she asked innocently as she stood up. She looked more closely at Anja's clothes. "Is that blood?" she asked on, now shocked. 

"Not mine," Anja answered briefly. Her best friend understood that she didn't want to talk about it. 

Rinako looked earnestly at Anja. "Do you really want to go out? You can try and hide somewhere. I think I can do the job alone." 

Anja's eyes went wide. She had felt guilty for already having given up, leaving her best friend alone. And now this. Had Rinako lost her grip on reality? "You must be kidding. I never would have allowed you to stay here alone in the first place if I had known about your plan," she added, slightly angry. 

"And I wouldn't have allowed you to go if I had known about the dangers. But okay," Rinako replied. She handed out the suits. "Here. There's still enough time to change. You can do that over there, Sadao," she said pointing at a small room, the restroom of the maintenance crew. "And I really would appreciate if you wouldn't do it here." 

"You can't fool me, Paleface. But I will go." And so he did. 

The blue-haired actress theatrically threw her arms into the air. "What have I done to be cursed with this guy, Anja?" 

Her best friend threatened her with a finger. "Hey! You're talking about my boyfriend." She hastened after Sadao. 

Rinako stared after her. "And why am I not surprised?" she yelled a few seconds later. 

------

In Central Dogma, Sadao's face appeared on the main monitor. He was sitting in the entry plug. "We're ready," he stated reluctantly. 

Gonkuro spoke up. "Where is Captain Katsuragi, Shinji?" 

Sadao looked down. "She ... didn't make it." 

"Captain Katsuragi will be considered as killed in action," Gonkuro proclaimed. "I will assume direct command over the operation." 

The Gainaxian Fuyutsuki bent down to the fake commander. "Ikari, do you think this is a wise decision?" 

This time, Gonkuro did not turn around to face the Sub-commander. "Do you have a problem with that, Professor?" he replied with a low voice. "I'm quite sure that the security forces don't." He rose his voice again. "Launch Unit 00 and Unit 02 but hold back Unit 01." 

"What? Why does the idiot always get special treatment?" Anja screamed. 

Gonkuro reacted unimpressed by the Asuka rant. "Launch Evangelions!" 

The blue and red Evas ascended to the surface to confront the second Angel to appear in less than twelve hours. The evening was about to begin and dusk began to blanket the city. Next to Anja the wall of a storage building came down, revealing the positron gun. Anja took it after an almost imperceptible moment of hesitation. 

"The Angel is approaching from the south-west, distance 35 km," Mutsuko reported. 

"We'll intercept it," Anja declared. 

"No, Pilot Soryu," Gonkuro commanded. "I want you to test the positron rifle first." 

"Commander, I assure you that the rifle will be functioning with a probability of 99.99999 percent now!" Ritsuko Akagi shouted from a lower level of Central Dogma. 

Gonkuro ignored her. "Pilot Soryu?" 

Despite the tremendous healing capability of the Evas Anja felt a throbbing pain in her back and her hands, a nagging remembrance of the wounds the red-armored cyborg had sustained in the last battle. She aimed at the sky, closed her eyes, and prepared for the worst. Then she pulled the trigger. Again. And again. Nothing happened. The actress threw the gun to the ground not noting that she destroyed three GSSDF tanks that had approached the Evas through that action. "The shit is still not working!" She absently scratched her Eva's right calf that was under heavy fire from other GSSDF units. 

Gonkuro stared down at a suddenly very pale Dr. Akagi, choosing not to comment. "Equip Units 00 and 02 with standard rifles. Further proposals, Dr. Akagi?" 

"Unit 01 created an AT field when Unit 02 was in danger," Mutsuko intervened without thinking. "Eh ... I mean ..." 

"I can hear you, you bitch!" Anja howled over the comm. 

"I will send out Eva 01 together with the Lance," Gonkuro decided. 

Fuyutsuki intervened again. "Ikari, I can't allow you to remove the Lance. I said that as long as ..." 

"If the Angel reaches Lilith it will be very well capable of removing the Lance by itself," Gonkuro interrupted him. 

"But if we lose the Lance and Adam should reappear some day ..." 

"Enough is enough, Fuyutsuki." Gonkuro pressed a button. "Security to the command level." 

Two security guards appeared after a suspiciously short time span. "Sir?" 

"Take Sub-commander Fuyutsuki into custody. He is guilty of insubordination," Gonkuro ordered. 

"Yes, Sir." 

Fuyutsuki looked anxiously from Gonkuro to the guards and back. "You can't do that!" 

The guards took his arms into a tight grip. "Please follow us, Sir." 

"You can't do that!" Fuyutsuki repeated as they dragged him towards an elevator. "That isn't the real Commander Gendo Ikari! He's just an actor! An actor! His name is Gonkuro Itagaki!" 

"Please inform the psychological staff about the Professor's ... state," Gonkuro remarked as the elevator doors began to close. 

"Yes, Sir." 

Now Gonkuro was alone on the command level. Nobody below had noticed the incident. "Shinji," he addressed Sadao. 

"Let me go up there!" 

"You will take the elevator labeled F-2. It will bring you to Terminal Dogma. You will take the Lance of Longinus and ascend to the surface. There you will use it to eliminate the target. Do you understand?" 

"Eh ... yes, father." 

Gonkuro deactivated the connection and smirked. "Everything is going according to the scenario," he mumbled satisfactorily. 

------

Sadao ran to the specified Eva-sized elevator and descended. As promised, the doors opened again at Terminal Dogma. For the second time the white, legless giant appeared in front of his, or better Unit 01's eyes. 

The actor let his Eva step into the LCL and carefully took the Lance of Longinus into its hands. He pulled. Nothing happened. 

"Excuse me, Ma'am." Sadao planted first one, then both feet of his mecha into Lilith's belly and pulled harder. Finally the Lance began to move. With a loud splash Unit 01 fell into the basin of LCL. "Ouch." 

He watched in fascination as two new extremities grew from Lilith's lower torso, transforming into well-shaped legs after reaching their final length. 

------

The Mana Kirishima worshippers were already very close to Central Dogma. Mutsuko could now hear the screams, shots, and explosions as the soldiers fought their way through the barricades the barely armed NERV forces had built up. "Shinji has the Lance and is ascending again. The rebellious troops have taken another sector at Level five," she reported nervously, "There are heavy causalities." 

Masaki laid his hand onto her shoulder. "You can stop now. Nobody is listening anymore." 

Mutsuko looked around. Dr. Akagi was gone. The Gainaxian Lieutenant who had replaced Sugita Arakawa had left his place too. The Maya Ibuki actress laid her head back and looked upwards. "Commander?" she shouted. 

No answer. 

"The Lance has been removed. And now Gonkuro is gone. I should have expected that," Masaki declared. 

"Huh? What are you talking about?" 

Masaki didn't answer and stared at the information that was rolling over his console display. "The GSSDF troops will reach Central Dogma within a quarter of an hour at maximum." He took a gun from below the console and stood up. Then he began to forcefully remove a grid from a wall. Behind the opening lay the ventilation system. The actor looked at Mutsuko and made an inviting gesture. "Our job here is done. You better join me." 

Mutsuko stared at her remaining colleague. "You're going in there? We will only get lost in the vents!" She flinched as the loudest explosion thus far knocked on her eardrums. Again, screams perverted the air. 

"COME ON!" Masaki commanded. "I'll explain everything on our way to Lilith." 

------

"Rei?" 

A teenage girl opened her blood red eyes. In her pupils reflections of Gonkuro Itagaki could be seen. "Commander?" she asked with her lifeless voice. 

"It is time." 

"Yes." 

The blue-haired girl rose from her bed. On her way out of the room she didn't bother to avoid the dried stains of Sugita Arakawa's blood that could still be seen on the floor. 

------

Sadao arrived on the surface, the Lance in Unit 01's hand. He looked around. Neither the red nor the blue Evangelion were in sight. 

Sadao made a step but then froze in mid-stride as a crushing sound was heard. He lifted his right foot. A flattened GSSDF tank appeared from under his heel. 

"Oh ... oh shit .. I'm sorry. Really." He stepped back. Again a similar sound. 

"Oh no. Sorry, sorry, sorry." 

"Finally you get here," Anja snorted over the comm. "Now stab the thing and we can all go home." 

"Where are you?" Sadao asked back. 

"20 km south-west at another energy supply tower, watching the Angel. The GSSDF became a bit annoying." 

"Pilot Soryu and myself were attacked by the military units in the area," Rinako intervened calmly. "Their weaponry was however not sufficient to endanger the Evangelions." 

"But they were annoying," Anja insisted. 

"The projectiles they fired at us were ... irritating." 

"Wondergirl is ticklish you know. Now drag your ass over here." 

Sadao released his umbilical cable, took the Lance in both hands and ran the last kilometers towards the Angel. 

Anja activated her comm as Sadao passed their position. "HQ, should we give him cover? HQ?" Her only answer was static. "Shit. Wondergirl, I can't connect to HQ. Let's give the idiot cover." 

Both women grabbed their guns and began to fire at the hovering replica of the 14th Angel that looked so much like an upright flying cow with a tiny permanently grinning clown face. Without a chance to penetrate the AT field Anja hoped that they could at least confuse their enemy. But the Angel seemed to passively await its fate anyway, not unlike its movie counterparts whenever the script had demanded it. 

Anja again unsuccessfully tried to connect NERV. "Wondergirl, do you have ..." 

The pilot of Unit 00 interrupted her. It wasn't the emotionless monotone of the First Child that answered, but rather the lively voice of Rinako Asuhara. "I doubt that somebody is still there to answer us, Anja. Forget about that Wondergirl crap. It doesn't matter anymore." 

Sadao had now reached the Angel. The AT field became visible as the spikes of the Lance began to penetrate it as if the barrier wasn't there. "It's working!" Sadao cheered. "Now ..." 

Suddenly, the elastic arms of the Angel flew forward and cut off the right leg of Eva 01. Even before the stumbling mecha hit the ground it also lost its left arm. Sadao screamed out in pain. The Lance fell to the ground. 

Anja and Rinako could see the rocket driven, cylindrical form of an entry plug fly across the sky. 

"There goes our hero," Rinako commented on the view. 

"Shut up, Rinako," Anja hissed. 

------

Mutsuko crawled behind Masaki through the tight tube. Again, a loud explosion behind them was heard. Hot air brushed over her body. 

"It seems the Kirishima troops have entered Central Dogma," Masaki just said. 

"Why are we going to Lilith, Masaki?" Mutsuko asked. 

The man in front of her stopped and worked with his eyes. Two brown contact lenses fell to the ground. He looked back at Mutsuko. Despite the sparse light inside the vents she saw that his real eye color was blood red, just like Rei Ayanami's. 

"Are you an Angel?" 

"I'm just a clone." 

------

The Angel had left its position and was now heading for Rinako's mecha. 

Anja didn't care about that at the moment. "Sadao! Sadao, say something, please," she cried into the comm. 

"Ow," a miserable voice answered. 

"Are you okay?" 

"I think so. My head hurts." 

Rinako snorted. "Not-so-invincible Sadao will be alright. You'll distract the Angel, I'll get the Lance." 

"Distract? How? For how long?" 

Unit 00 had already released its cable and was on its way, jumping from cover to cover. Rinako looked at the time reserve display. "Your problem. And for no more than 4 minutes and 48 seconds." 

How was it possible to distract an Angel that wasn't impressed by gun fire, Anja pondered. She asked herself if an Evangelion had a tongue. 

"Blblblblblbl!" It did. 

------

"A ... a clone?" Mutsuko stuttered. 

"Yes. You know, when we made the films thirteen years ago at least half of the Eva cast had already been replaced by Gainaxian agents in cloned human bodies. Eva was the foundation of our culture, after all. A lot of groups that knew about the truth tried to get influence. Harumi Hashimoto for example, she was on the payroll of the spaceforce. Kenzo Fuchida was working for the ministry of religious affairs or NERV, I'm not sure. Sugita and me, we got our instructions directly from the president. Roku Kunda, well, he was working for all of them and also for SEELE but mostly for himself, I think." 

Mutsuko tried to digest that. "And why are we going to Lilith?" 

They reached a crossing. After a second of consideration Masaki went to the right. "To prevent Gonkuro from initiating Fourth Impact, of course." He stopped at a grid and began to kick it with his right foot. "If I'm not mistaken we have reached the room of the Annoquarium." 

------

Anja was firing at the slowly approaching Angel. Her attempt to draw its attention on her had been a bit too successful. Although she was constantly retreating, her enemy slowly reduced their distance. She had had to unplug her umbilical cable and the energy reserve readings were ticking down. And somewhere the GSSDF was lurking, waiting for her defeat and probably also for their own reinforcements, whatever would happen earlier. The situation wasn't exactly auspicious. 

"Stay back!" she cried in panic at her adversary. She threw away her empty gun and grabbed another one from an armory tower she passed. "Rinako! Where are you?" 

The elastic bands that were the Angel's arms shot out and cut her gun into two halves. In another attack it cut off her mecha's arm. The red Evangelion sank to its knees. 

"Anja!" Rinako shouted from somewhere. "Eject the entry plug." 

"Rinako?" Anja hissed through her teeth while staring at her arm, trying to convince her brain that it was still there. 

"Eject it!" 

Anja hit a button on her console. The plug left the Eva a fraction of a second before the Angel beheaded the mecha. 

Suddenly, Unit 00 appeared from behind a building, and directly behind the Angel's back, the Lance of Longinus in its hands. "Hey!" 

The Angel turned around. 

"Dodge this!" Rinako howled and pierced the Lance into the Angels core. The reborn 14th stared down at its body and blinked. 

"I would have given everything for that role." Rinako laughed. 

Then the Angel exploded. The fireball engulfed Unit 00 with Rinako inside before losing its spherical appearance and assuming the characteristically cross-shaped form. 

------

The great finale has begun. Why does Gonkuro want to initiate Fourth Impact? Will Makoto be able to stop him? Has Rinako been killed in the explosion? The last question may be easier to answer knowing the title of the sixth and last chapter   
  


"Rinako, Beyond Her Text."

  
  
**Author's notes**: I don't have to explain the acronym GSSDF, do I? You know the drill: 

Rinako Asuhara - Rei Ayanami 

Sadao Inoguchi - Shinji Ikari 

Anja Siebert - Asuka (Langley) Soryu 

Gonkuro Itagaki - Gendo Ikari 

Sugita Arakawa - Shigeru Aoba 

Masaki Hokusai - Makoto Hyuga 

Mutsuko Ishimura - Maya Ibuki 

But who are Harumi Hashimoto, Kenzo Fuchida, and Roku Kunda? Guess ... 

ChiRho and XXXG-00W0 took care that I didn't mutilate the English language too much. 


	6. Rinako, Beyond Her Text

  
  


**Guest Performance**

  
  


by Puddle of LCL

  
  
**Disclaimer**: I'm not Gainax. Eva is not mine. Thank you for your attention.   
  


Chapter 6: Rinako, Beyond Her Text

  
  
When Gonkuro Itagaki and the Gainaxian Rei reached Terminal Dogma, they were not alone. Ritsuko Akagi was already there, sitting next to the basin of LCL, staring at the red fluid. "I've been waiting for you," she greeted him coldly, rising to her feet. 

"This is unexpected," Gonkuro remarked. 

"I know who you are ... _what_ you are," came the scientist's controlled threat. 

"Do you really?" Gonkuro asked, unimpressed. 

"Yes. You talk in your sleep. About martial arts, black leather clothes, sync ratios of 900 percent. I know what you want and I don't intend to let you get it. This ends here." With these words, she ceremoniously put her hand into her lab coat pocket and pressed a button on a small apparatus. 

"Hello. This is the number of Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar," an artificial voice began. "We're not at home at the moment, but you would like to leave a message, please do so after the tone." 

The expression on Dr. Akagi's face changed from determined to desperate. Her shoulders dropped. 

Gonkuro raised a gun. "Ritsuko Akagi, the truth is ..." The rest of the sentence was drowned by the beep from the Magi's answering machine. 

"You LIAR!" Ritsuko hissed. 

------

"Was that a shot?" Mutsuko asked inside of the vents. 

Masaki shrugged. "I didn't hear anything." 

The grid Masaki had been kicking against at last yielded and snapped. Crawling cautiously through the hole, he jumped the two meters to the ground before helping Mutsuko down. The woman looked around the huge room they were now in; on the other side of the room from them stood a large container with transparent walls, filled with a reddish fluid. Floating within were identical, naked copies of ... 

"Anno Hideako!" Mutsuko exclaimed. 

... the famous scriptwriter, and director of the most popular movie tetralogy ever created on Earth. The floating bodies simultaneously turned their heads towards her and began to giggle girlishly. 

"This is the Annoquarium," Masaki said. "NERV's Annoquarium, to be exact. There are others ..." 

"Anno was a clone too?" 

"What do you think? Control Anno and you control the Eva tetralogy. He was replaced by interested groups more often than you could count," Masaki explained while they walked towards a door at the end of the hall. "Have you never wondered where the twists and turns in the story of Evangelion came from?" 

"Twists and turns?" 

"Let's look at this chronologically; the first Anno clone was given the soul of a Shinji fanboy. I mean, he learns to pilot his Eva far better than Asuka and Rei within _months_, although they themselves trained for _years_. Pretty unbelievable, right? And he kills practically all of the Angels - and lives under the same roof as two hot females. Lucky bastard." 

"Well ..." 

"Perhaps there was another Anno who was responsible for the darker course the story took later on. But the next Anno we know about for sure was really a Kaworu fangirl. She ... he ... whatever ... put the mind-rape of Asuka and the self-destruction of Rei II into the script - and invented Kaworu, of course. She planned to end the story with Kaworu marrying Shinji and living happily ever after." 

"But then Kaworu was killed ..." 

"Yes, probably by Anno the Asuka fanboy that came afterwards." 

"Why an Asuka fanboy?" Mutsuko asked. 

Masaki looked bewildered. "Isn't it obvious? Asuka is down and out. Deep in coma. And suddenly: bang! She awakes and kills nine mass production Evangelions in a few minutes. Nine! That's hilarious. And what happens to the rest of the female cast? All of them potential members of an Ikari harem, of course. Misato gets killed. Ritsuko gets killed. Rei, Asuka's arch enemy ... she gets groped by Commander Ikari, loses her arm and finally her head. Pretty ugly, right? Maya doesn't get killed but turns out to be a lesbo and is thus also out of reach for Shinji. All that was planned by Anno the Asuka fanboy. Who gets spared? Only Hikari! Hikari, who's Asuka's best friend and never showed any interest in Shinji. She doesn't even appear in the final movie." 

"But the scene at the beginning of the film, I mean, in the hospital, Shinji ..." 

"That? Asuka always claimed that Shinji was a wimp and a pervert. And the first part of End of Evangelion pulled everything to prove exactly that. This movie would have also ended with a wedding. Kaji turns out to be still alive and ..." 

"But then Anno was replaced again, and the scene where the mass production Evas come back to life and kill Asuka was created." 

"You're beginning to understand," Masaki praised. 

"And then?" 

"In the end, Anno was kidnapped and replaced almost every day, it seems. That's why the last part of the movie was so weird." 

"But ..." Mutsuko tried to find the right words. 

"Yes?" 

"But you knew the movies a thousand years before they were filmed, right? I mean, after all the manipulations everything turned out as it had to be ... or not?" 

"Yes, the eggheads in the ministry of science had predicted that before, but nobody paid them any attention. We don't know who projected the movies back into the past to close the circle. SEELE seems to know more about the old technology than they admit. NERV too. Even ..." He drew a curl and an X into the air. 

"The Evil? What _is_ the Evil?" 

"The Evil ..." They reached a door at the end of the hall. "I'll explain that later." 

Mutsuko had seen that door before, just not from that side. 'HA 1-25' was written on the other side, as she could see when Masaki opened it. "Hideako Anno number one to twenty-five," Masaki said as he saw her questioning glare. 

Beyond the door was Terminal Dogma. Gonkuro stood in front of the LCL pool, in which an apparently dead Ritsuko Akagi was floating. A blue-haired girl stood next to him. 

"Rinako?" Mutsuko asked doubtfully. 

Gonkuro's head turned towards the intruders. "No. It would be easiest if you call her Rei Ayanami. She is the keeper of Lilith's soul." 

------

"Rinako?" Anja asked hoarsely after the entry plug had hit the ground. "Rinako? Sadao?" 

"I'm still here," the voice of Sadao answered. "Where are you?" 

"I don't know. Half of the gizmos here aren't working anymore. Rinako?" 

No answer. 

"RINAKO!" 

------

Masaki drew his gun. "Game over, Gonkuro." 

The official commander of NERV made no attempt to draw his own firearm. Instead, he smirked and removed his contact lenses. 

"Are you an Angel?" Mutsuko asked as she saw his red eyes. 

"I'm just a clone." 

"Whose side are you on, Gonkuro?" Masaki demanded to know, waving the gun. 

"On my own side. With the help of Rei and Adam, I will create a new world of Evangelion within Instrumentality." Gonkuro made a dramatic pause. "With myself as the Sixth Child," he then revealed. 

"The Sixth Child! You're part of the Evil!" Masaki shouted and made the well-known gesture. Mutsuko now fully recognized the symbol for the first time. It wasn't a curl and a cross. It was a _crossed-out six_. 

"This is the name you gave us," Gonkuro replied coolly. "I prefer the term self-inserting fanfic author." 

------

"Rinako," Anja cried, "please say something." 

"Anja, I saw the explosion. I don't believe that ..." His voice trailed off. "She's most likely unconscious." 

The actor heard his girlfriend rummaging. When Anja spoke again there was fear in her voice. "Sadao, I can't open the exit hatch. How far is the GSSDF away from me?" 

Sadao tried to make sense of the readings on his console. "The nearest units are about 10 km away, I think." 

"And where are you?" 

"4 km away from you, 8 km away from them," he answered reluctantly. Both of them understood that a GSSDF tank could reach Anja sooner than a walking Sadao. "Don't worry, Schatz," he continued hastily. "They'll probably reach me before they'll reach you." 

"And then? Will you promise them to propose to a mythological figure if they leave us alone?" Anja screamed. 

"Anja, I'll promise them to marry Pen-Pen if it helps us at the moment." 

------

Masaki fired, but the bullet ricocheted off a force field. 

"You will not hurt Commander Itagaki," Rei Ayanami declared calmly. 

Gonkuro laughed. "Once I have control over the new world of Evangelion, I can do whatever I want to the characters. I can turn Shinji Ikari into an arrogant sword fighter or a super soldier. I can turn Asuka into a helpless, glomping crybaby. I can turn Rei into ..." He stopped. "I never thought about that ..." 

"That is why the Evil always fails," Masaki Hokusai interrupted contemptuously. "You never think about the end when you start something." 

"Silence. And I will finally be able to lay the complete female cast!" He leered lewdly at Mutsuko, who stared back at him in disgust. "I will be the best Evangelion pilot in the world!" Gonkuro's voice had become triumphant in the end. He lowered it again. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm rather busy. I have a Fourth Impact to start." 

As he removed his right glove, Masaki and Mutsuko could plainly see the embryonic form of the first Angel that was embedded in his palm. "SI authors have hidden Adam for centuries, since the end of the old wars, waiting for their chance. I promised the man who brought me Adam to insert him as Seventh Child. The fool. He's a terrible writer. They're all terrible writers. Except me, of course." His hand reached out to touch the body of Rei. 

Suddenly however, an AT field stopped his approach. 

Gonkuro's eyes widened in disbelief. "You are refusing me? That is impossible!" 

Rei stared back in slight confusion. She closed her eyes and concentrated. The AT field flickered for a second before becoming invisible again. 

"Leave it, Rei. You're lacking a few years of experience to fight me," came a well-known voice from the other side of the large hall. 

All heads spun in that direction. 

"Rinako?" Masaki Hokusai asked, baffled. 

The actress was clad in a white bathrobe with a red NERV logo above the right breast. While she walked over to the group, she rubbed her wet blue hair with a towel bearing the same mark. "Rinako II, actually. Sorry for being late, but I first had to find something to wear after I left the Rinakoquarium." 

"I know everything about NERV HQ." Gonkuro was visibly confused. "There is no Rinakoquarium." 

"There are many things in this building that even NERV itself doesn't know about," Rinako replied. She demonstratively turned her head in Rei's direction, then back to Gonkuro. "You should know that," she added. 

Mutsuko was sure that she finally had understood what was going on. "You're a clone!" she stated. 

"Ah ... well ... yes, sure," Rinako answered, slightly bemused, "but that's not really the point. I'm an Angel." 

"An Angel?" everybody with the exception of Rei shouted. 

"Yes. I carry the _true_ soul of Lilith." 

"You are lying!" Gonkuro shouted. "Rei, kill her!" 

Rei again tried an AT field attack that was easily broken by Rinako. "Poor Rei here," she continued, tenderly caressing the girl's blue hair, "has some Angel DNA, but just an ordinary second-hand soul from the gray market. SEELE out-schemed your schemes, Gonkuro." 

The older man looked miserable. "That ... that can't be. All those years of preparation ... my dreams ..." He trailed off. 

Rinako elbowed the would-be Sixth Child playfully. "Hey, Gonkuro. Take it easy. Let's be friends again. Handshake?" 

In a reflex, Gonkuro took the hand Rinako offered. He screamed in pain and surprise as Rinako, in return, took his hand ... away. 

Masaki knew what would follow now but made a last attempt to stop the inevitable. "Rinako, no," he pleaded, "don't do it." 

Rinako laid a hand on his shoulder, no longer paying attention to the whimpering Gonkuro. "Sorry, Masaki. There were some changes in the script, but the following scene can't and won't be removed." 

She turned to Mutsuko for a last time. "Could you take care of this Rei? This whole thing isn't her fault." 

The situation had become too much for Mutsuko to grasp. She just stared blankly at Rinako and nodded absently. The Ibuki actress, Rei, Masaki, and Gonkuro watched Rinako as she soared towards the crucified white giant. 

"I'm home," the angelic actress proclaimed as her body was absorbed into Lilith. 

_It's about fucking time._

------

"Hey!" Sadao shouted. "Something's happening in here." 

"What do you mean?" Anja asked nervously, still trying to open the hatch of her plug. 

"I dunno ... the sensors are failing one after another." Static noise affected the transmission now. 

Anja took a deep breath of LCL. "Do you think it's the GSSDF?" 

Sadao didn't answer immediately. "I'm coming to you now," he finally said. 

Over the comm, Anja heard the rhythmic humming of the machinery that pumped the LCL from Sadao's plug. "Sadao, forget it," she pleaded. "You know that it's useless." 

The only answer was Sadao's heavy coughing as he forced the last amounts of the reddish fluid out of his lungs. Then she heard him opening the hatch. 

"Are the GSSDF troops anywhere in sight?" Anja asked. 

"No." Sadao's voice was hesitating and sounded very strange. 

"But?" 

"You wouldn't believe it anyway." 

Sadao stared out of the hatch. In the direction of the inner city of Tokyo-5, a gigantic and still growing Rinako dominated the sky, glowing in the sparse light of the beginning evening. She was wearing a white bathrobe and rubbing her hair with a towel that could by now have covered a whole quarter of the city. 

------

Gonkuro had lost consciousness. Masaki was sitting on the ground, staring at the now empty cross as if trying to bring Lilith back by sheer willpower. Mutsuko held the Rei clone in an embrace. "I failed," the girl whispered. "I do not have a purpose anymore." 

"Shhh. Everything will be okay," Mutsuko tried to comfort her. 

Suddenly, Masaki began to laugh madly. His colleague stared at him. As he noticed her glance, Masaki reduced his laughter to a broad grin and started to rhythmically snap his fingers. After a few seconds, he also began to whistle a tune. He wasn't hitting the notes very well but Mutsuko still recognized the song quickly. She shrugged and started to sing along in a soprano voice. 

Rei looked curiously at Mutsuko. She didn't understand the words and it was probably better that way. Yet, the melody seemed to please her as far as the actress could tell from reading the still almost empty face of the blue-haired girl. 

"_I know, I know I've let you down ..._" 

A tremor went through Terminal Dogma and the entire Geofront. 

------

Anja also felt the quaking but didn't really register it. The sight of Rinako suddenly appearing in front of her on the console was simply too weird to divert attention to anything else. Her best friend was just sitting there, her legs folded, her chin resting on her hands. She grinned mischievously. 

"Hi, Anja." 

"Wh-where did you come from? Where have you been? And where did you get that bathrobe from?" 

"Oh, so many questions. I think I'll answer them later. This place will soon become a bt uncomfortable." She leaned forward and bopped Anja's nose. "Beep!" 

Anja just stared back. "Beep?" she echoed. And turned to LCL. 

------

"Hello Sadao! How are you doing?" 

Sadao's eyes went back and forth between the still expanding Rinako outside and the normal-sized woman that was suddenly with him in the entry plug. 

"Rinako? Are you ..." 

"Don't speak," Rinako whispered. She slowly closed her eyes. When she opened them again, they had lost their Asian shape and assumed a blue color. Her hair had grown in length and turned red. She now looked like a perfect double of Anja. "Do you like me like this?" 

Rinako, Rei, Asuka, Anja, or ... Lilith? - Sadao wasn't sure anymore - laid her forearms on his shoulders and inched closer. "I always wanted to play this part, you know?" she whispered as their lips where only a few centimeters apart. "Because I always wanted to do what I'm going to do now ..." 

Sadao squirmed. "Rinako ... that's not a good idea." 

"Shhhhh ..." 

But instead of closing the remaining gap between their lips, she suddenly retreated, grinning like the cat that had eaten the canary. Sadao sensed danger. 

"YOU PERVERTED IDIOT!" 

The last thing Sadao felt was the pain of Rinako's slap. 

The last thing Sadao heard was Rinako laughing. 

The last thing Sadao saw was Rinako assuming her usual appearance again and becoming transparent. 

Then his body dissolved and mixed with the remaining LCL on the bottom of the cockpit. 

------

When Gonkuro awoke and opened his eyes he immediately felt that something was wrong. He wasn't in Terminal Dogma anymore. He instead found himself in the middle of normal-looking forest excepting the extraordinary size of the vegetation. Or was it him who was so small? 

The Gendo actor and failed initiator of Fourth Impact looked around and saw a small pool of water next to him. Moving closer to it, he was able to inspect his image on the reflective surface. 

No. That just couldn't be possible. Nobody was allowed to do that to him, Gonkuro Itagaki, the author of such celebrated underground literature such as "Gonkuro slays Angels single-handedly wearing mirror shades" not to mention the unfinished romantic epos "Gonkuro kicks the red-headed bitch in the butt and makes love to Rei Ayanami in more positions than you can imagine". Okay, perhaps they weren't celebrated, but they were at least quite popular. To those who had actually read them. To some of those. Maybe. 

The eyes that looked back at him from the water - his eyes - were black. His face was mostly yellow and looked somehow rodent-like. Gonkuro opened his mouth to summon the wrath of all the demons in hell on Rinako Asuhara. 

"Pika! Pika pika! Chuuu!" his furious voice echoed through the silent forest. 

------

Anja found herself standing in a featureless gray nothingness. No, that wouldn't be entirely accurate. In actual fact she was standing on a featureless dark gray plane under a featureless light gray sky. 

"_Now, you have top and bottom. But you've lost a degree of freedom._" 

Was that a real voice, or just her memory? Was what she saw real, or a dream? Had the whole visit to Gainax just been a dream? Had Rinako really appeared inside her plug? Was this Instrumentality? Or had the GSSDF found and destroyed her plug and this was the afterlife? 

All these questions ran through her otherwise empty mind. But at that moment they neither provoked an emotional reaction nor an attempt to answer from the shell-shocked actress. 

Anja wouldn't have been able to explain why, but, on a subconscious level, she felt that she was the only inhabitant in this world stretching out to infinity in every direction. She felt lonely, lonelier than she had ever in her life. 

Involuntarily, Anja began to imagine the friends who had suffered with her in the last few days. Rinako appeared before her inner eye. The bridge bunnies. Gonkuro, whose betrayal was still unknown to her. Even the alien who had called herself Misato Katsuragi and whose death had almost broken her, despite the fact she had known her only for a few days. And of course, there was Sadao ... 

Childish, irresponsible Sadao who had saved her from the replica of the 9th Angel. 

"_But when it really counts I'll be there for you._" 

And he had proven that. And yet, he had been wrong. Because he had always been there for her. More than he had ever realized. And certainly more than she had realized. 

"_The man who makes you laugh when you're worried._" 

... and _that_ was so much more important than a casual promise of protection against any dangers that she might encounter. A promise that so many men would give, knowing they would probably never be forced to prove what it was worth. And there was the fact ... 

"_You know that I love you?_" 

... that this man loved her so much that he had been ready to die at her side instead of leaving her, though at that time even he couldn't reach her anymore in her dejection. 

"_Then we'll stay here together for a while until you're ready to leave, huh?_" 

But then ... 

"_Wimp._" 

Oh yes, of course. There was somebody else she had to thank for supporting her in that last hour. Somebody who had kicked her forward as Sadao's approach hadn't worked. Thanking _her_ was at least possible because _she_ was always with her. 

"Go ahead!" 

That voice broke the spell. Anja blinked and shifted her head a bit to look at the source of the voice, the very first movement since she had found herself in this strange place. In front of her stood a teenage girl in a red plugsuit, smaller than her own but otherwise identical. She looked like a younger version of herself, but Anja knew that she wasn't. Not quite. 

Asuka Langley Soryu put her hands on her hips and grinned. "Well? You wanted to thank me." 

"What are you doing here?" 

"What are _you_ doing here?" the Second Child retorted. That was most likely the more important question, Anja admitted silently. 

While the actress ordered her thoughts and finally began to contemplate about her situation, the other redhead impatiently tapped her right foot on the ground. "Well?" she repeated. 

"Oh ... thank you," Anja answered absent-mindedly. 

"IS THAT ALL?" 

This Asuka, Anja had already concluded, came almost directly out of her own mind. And Anja didn't feel like dealing with a fuming creation of her subconscious at that moment. But if she could bring her to this place then perhaps she could also bring Sadao. She concentrated as hard as she could and tried again to visualize him. 

"Huh? Schatz? Is that really you, or ..." 

He was standing in front of her in his plugsuit, looking confused and a little suspicious. His left cheek was slightly reddened. 

Anja threw herself into his arms in answer. "Sadao. Is it really you? I've missed you." 

Sadao flinched as Anja leaned her head against his. She looked worriedly into his eyes. "What's up?" 

"It's nothing." Sadao carefully passed his hand along and over his head. "Hair's dry again but my cheek still hurts," he mumbled. "That bitch." 

Anja knit her eyebrows. She didn't understand, but took it as sign that this Sadao was not just a creation of her mind. Why should she imagine him with an aching cheek, speaking in riddles? "Do you know what this place is?" 

Sadao didn't even bother to look around. "Oh, it's nice here," he answered casually, bringing his arm around Anja's waist again, and holding her closer to him. "First things first ..." 

"Yuck," Asuka expressed her disgust, if only to remind the couple of her presence. How could they dare to ignore her? Her mood darkened from second to second. 

Sadao turned his head and noticed the girl for the first time. "Is that ..." 

"Oh, I'm sorry." Anja broke the embrace with Sadao. "Asuka, this is Sadao Inoguchi, actor. Sadao, this is Asuka Langley Soryu, Evangelion pilot," she formally introduced them to one other. Even an imaginary girl deserved some politeness. 

"The best," Asuka added, a little bit appeased now. "So, this is your idiotic ex-boyfriend." 

"Boyfriend," Anja corrected. 

Asuka inspected Sadao critically. "Not much to look at." 

Sadao stared back at her in fascination. "Is she real?" He poked his finger into the Second Child's shoulder. 

"Hey! Who do you think you are?" Sadao's left cheek made a painful contact with the hand of an Anja look-alike for the second time within minutes - at least he assumed that it had been minutes. 

"Ow," Sadao cried out, "she is." He blinked back a few tears. 

Asuka grunted. "To think that the Third will look like him in a decade makes me shudder." 

Anja embraced Sadao again and looked into his eyes. "Shiver, you mean?" she asked smilingly, not bothering to turn her head away from the now also smiling Sadao and toward her alter ego. 

Asuka narrowed her eyes. "What?" 

"Oh, come on," Anja sighed. "We're alone here and we all know what you feel for Shinji. Do I really have to explain?" Her voice didn't sound teasing in any way. She just spoke matter-of-factly. 

"Pfft. Just spare me an example of your completely wrong, sick, and twisted interpretation of my character." 

"Don't make me laugh. You came directly out of my head, right? So you're just the condensation of my interpretation of Asuka's character. And that means that Shinji ..." 

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Asuka rammed her foot into the ground. "And don't you dare kiss this idiot in _my_ body. That's ... that's rape." 

Sadao had witnessed the verbal battle with glee, but was now rapidly losing interest. He wanted to share a romantic moment with Anja and Asuka was clearly hampering his plans. "How did you brought her here anyway?" 

Anja shrugged. "I don't know. I just thought of her and then she was there." 

"Interesting." Sadao closed his eyes and strained his face. As reward for his efforts a fourth person in a plugsuit suddenly appeared next to Asuka. 

Asuka's head flew forward. "What are you doing here?" she demanded to know from the newcomer. 

The boy jumped back. "I'm sorry," he stuttered. 

Sadao opened his eyes again and looked the kid over. "Cool." He impatiently waved his hand. "Now play nicely, you two, and leave us alone, okay?" 

Shinji Ikari stared dreamingly at the couple as Sadao again attempted to kiss his girlfriend. Suddenly, however, a fuzzy red blob blocked his view. As he refocused his eyes the blob transformed into a very red-faced Second Child. "You're staring at them," she accused him. "You're staring at _her_!" 

"No I'm not," he defended himself weakly. 

Asuka's voice became very low. That was a bad sign. "Tell me Shinji," she inquired in a voice far too friendly, "do you think she looks beautiful, hmmm?" 

The young Ikari had no college degree, but he still understood that whatever his reply would be, it would lead to a fatal reaction from his roommate. So after a second of hesitation, he tried another tactic instead of answering - a tactic that had often worked in such situations. He ran away. 

"Stand still, Third Child, so I can rip off what makes you at least technically a man!" Asuka howled, shaking her right fist above her head and chasing after him on his zigzag course across the endless gray plane. 

Shinji considered this proposal only very superficially before discarding it. 

Anja and Sadao watched their secondary personalities as they became rapidly smaller and Asuka's curses became inaudible. "Alone at last," Sadao sighed and brought Anja's body closer to his. "And now ..." 

Anja smiled and gave him a quick kiss. Sadao looked disappointed. "That wasn't exactly the kind of kiss I had in mind." 

"Sadao. Shouldn't we try to find out what happened and where ..." 

"Anja," her boyfriend shook his head, "stop worrying. There's nothing that can't wait for a few minutes." 

"But what about the sunset?" Anja interrupted his approach again. 

"Oh, the FX people can add that later." 

Anja took on a very tender but serious expression. "There's something else, Sadao. If we ever get back to Earth, I want you to ... hmmmmph." 

She surrendered and closed her eyes as he finally lost his patience and kissed her again, embracing her even tighter. Lost in the kiss, the couple didn't notice that at that moment yet another person had appeared on the plane. The newcomer raised her right arm and turned her eyes to her palm where suddenly a running stopwatch materialized. "Awwwwww," she muttered after exactly thirty seconds had passed. The watch disappeared again, as mysteriously as it had appeared. 

Two heads turned into her direction. 

"Rinako?" Anja whispered. "What are you doing here?" She remembered her last seconds on Gainax. "Who are you really?" 

"I am the hope that your idiotic boyfriend will finally grow up." 

If there was a rule not to mess with divine beings, then Sadao had decided to break it. He gave her the finger. "And I'm the words 'fuck you', Paleface." 

Rinako ignored him as on most occasions. "Time to bring the others." She clapped her hands. The three bridge bunnies and Rei appeared. Sugita blinked for a few seconds before beginning to inspect his chest for bullet wounds. He didn't find any. 

Sadao looked at Rei. "Who is _that_?" he asked flabbergasted. "And where is Gonkuro?" 

"He shot me!" Sugita shouted. 

"He planned the Fourth Impact," Masaki added. 

"He wanted his own world where he could mess around with Eva," Mutsuko concluded. 

"Oh yes, Gonkuro," Rinako said as if she remembered him just now. "Don't worry about him. I gave him a very central role in a world just for him. Exactly as he always wanted." 

"But how could he? He was always such a happy and friendly man." Mutsuko shook her head. 

Rinako shrugged. "He was a lousy author, but an excellent actor, you know. Only when he played Commander Ikari he was himself." 

"You still haven't told me who you really are," Anja tried again. 

"I am - was - a cloned Angel and the keeper of Lilith's soul. And I was working for SEELE." 

"You're a what?" Sadao exclaimed. 

"An Angel. Who do you think created the second AT field to allow you to rescue Anja from the 9th? The fangirl in your Eva? For Asuka? No way." 

"But why did you, I mean ..." Mutsuko began. 

"Initiate Fourth Impact? SEELE had come to the conclusion that the Gainaxians had reached an evolutionary endpoint. You saw them: No creativity anymore, just Eva." 

"And why ..." Mutsuko went on. 

Rinako - or was it Lilith? - interrupted her. "Just let me explain. The Evil, that is Gonkuro and other self-inserting authors, they recreated the Angels from Adam with the help of the ancient technologies they still commanded. Gonkuro just wanted to get rid of the Lance in Lilith's body. His secret helpers persuaded the government to use us - and especially him - to fight the Angels, hoping we would fail. 

The government was easy to persuade because SEELE already knew parts of Gonkuro's plan. They needed Adam to start Instrumentality, something only the Evil could give them. And like Gonkuro, they needed a convincing argument to remove the Lance from the well-watched Lilith, something you need an Eva for but also something NERV would never allow without a good reason. Then there was the president, who didn't know much about anything but who wanted to bring his agents Sugita and Masaki back to find out what everybody was planning. And SEELE needed me to control Fourth Impact, of course." 

Your appearance here was also a final test of the Gainaxians. Their reaction turned out to be as bad as SEELE had expected. They almost destroyed their civilization once again. 

I will now use Instrumentality to show the Gainaxians that there is more than Eva." She pondered for a second. "Star Trek for example. I always loved DS9, you know. Voyager and Enterprise sucked, though." 

Anja scratched her head. 

"What are you thinking about?" Rinako asked. 

Anja shrugged. "I'm asking myself if everything makes sense now." 

Rinako/Lilith smiled mysteriously. "If you think long enough about it: probably not. But did you seriously expect that? It's Eva after all. Find your own explanation. But enough with that." 

She spread her arms, the palms of her hands facing upwards. Out of nowhere, a notebook and a pen appeared on them. "You've all had a hard time. I was trying to protect you, although I admit that I wasn't always successful and made a few mistakes. I thought I could fulfil a few wishes for you as a kind of compensation - in what kind of world do you want to live in?" 

"But ... isn't it better to choose the real world of pleasure _and_ pain over a false dream?" Mutsuko asked. 

Her colleagues, even Rinako, looked at her as if she had completely lost her senses. 

"That," Sugita said decisively, "is the most stupid thing I've ever heard." Everybody else nodded determinedly. 

"Where have you gotten that idiotic philosophy from? Kindergarten?" Anja asked, bewildered. 

"Think of the opportunities!" Sadao added. 

"Listen to the man!" Masaki shouted. 

Rinako sighed. "The real world. That's a big word. You see, nobody knows if there is a real world at all. If there once was one, then even the Gods have forgotten which it was by now." 

Mutsuko shrugged. "Okay, it was just an idea. Then I would like to be disgustingly rich instead." 

"All we need is a fast ship," Masaki thought aloud. "We could bring Star Trek merchandising stuff or something like that from Earth to Gainax and sell it when the people are back from the soup." 

"That's a great idea! That will make us rich in no time," Sugita shouted. "Mutsuko, are you with us?" 

"Sounds good to me. As long as I can take poor Rei with me." She laid her arm around the girl. 

Rei looked miserable - at least by her standards. "I failed to serve Commander Itagaki. My life has no purpose anymore." 

"Purpose, shmurpose," Masaki said casually. "Screw your purpose. Haven't you listened? We will be rich like crazy." 

Rei smiled a faint smile. "That would be acceptable." 

Rinako nodded and took a few notes. "That's easy. What about you, Anja?" 

Anja thought hard. "I just want to work as an actor again." 

"But not in mecha dramas, I suppose." 

"No. I want a world where I never played a part in Eva; a world where Eva never existed." 

Sadao and the bridge bunnies scowled. "That would be a waste, wouldn't it?" 

"Then ... then make it an anime series! Yeah, that would be fitting." 

Rinako scribbled on her block. "_NGE = anime, ca. 25(?) ep., 1-2 movies._" She looked up. "But what do _you_ want?" 

"I want to play complicated roles in complicated, intellectual films. Loved by the critics of the cultural magazines and watched only by the chosen few." 

"Well, you won't get rich with that." 

"That doesn't matter. My husband will make the millions." 

Rinako nodded. "_Husband_" she noted, drawing a circle around the word. 

"Hey!" Sadao shouted. 

"Yes, husband. A man that can make me laugh and who is only serious when it's really necessary. A movie star, who can work off his childishness in the big action film productions he loves so much." Anja looked into Rinako's eyes. "Do you understand?" 

"I'm afraid so, yes." 

Sadao was shocked. "You ... did you just diss me? After all these years?" 

"Sa-da-o." 

"Do you know how many fangirls I could've had until now instead of being faithful to you? But okay. Okay. I want a twenty-meters-yacht with at least twenty easy redheads in bikinis. No ... two boats. One for the Caribbean, one for the Mediterranean. And I want ... hey, where are you going?" 

Rinako became transparent. And so did the others. 

"Hey! I'm not finished yet!" Sadao yelled. But he was also beginning to dissolve. 

------

"WAKE UP!" 

Sadao bolted up. "What? What?" 

Anja was sitting next to him in bed, a telephone in her hand. "George is on the phone." 

"Oh Schatz, it's you," Sadao mumbled. "I was having such a weird dream." While he was trying to remember, the memory already began to fade. Something about Evas and ... he shouldn't read new scripts before going to bed. "George who? Oh my God, it's just after nine o'clock!" 

"George Lucas, of course! It's about the script he sent you. He went personally to Japan just to talk with you about it." 

"What? I already told him that the script sucks! I won't do that film. Especially not for a mere ten million dollars. Heck, who needs a Star Wars prequel anyway? Tell him the Wachowskis paid me twice as much," Sadao answered, sinking back into the cushions. "Oh God, nine o'clock, tell him he should never call me before noon when I'm not working on the set! Tell him he can visit the Fujiyama and then fly back." 

"Okay." Anja delivered Sadao's opinion about the script, the pay, the time of day, and the proposed sightseeing tour, although using slightly more diplomatic tones. 

After she had finished talking, Sadao wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer. "I haven't got the time to do that film anyway, you know?" 

Anja rested her head on his chest. "Is it the script you read last night?" 

"Right. It's just a small film and they can't pay that much. I'm doing it because of ... sentimentality. Childhood memories." 

"So what is it?" Anja wanted to know. 

"It's based on an anime." 

"Oh." Although Anja had lived in Tokyo for more than ten years she had never warmed up to that part of Japanese culture. "It's about boobs and giant robots and tentacle sex." 

"Eh ... it's not about ... tentacle sex. No. And I only have a small part. Mainly spying around and finally getting shot. I'll be working mostly behind the camera," Sadao explained. 

"That means?" 

"That means I accepted the role only because I also became the director and co-producer. I can take care that they stick to the original storyline instead of screwing around with it." He mumbled something that sounded like "Kate Rose, Kate Rose, those jerks." 

"Kate Rose?" Anja asked curiously. 

"Oh, nothing. There never was a Kate Rose and there never will be. Only over my dead body," Sadao answered determinedly. He saw that Anja looked confused. "It has something to do with ... a childhood crush." He blushed as he realized that he would probably have to explain a few things to Anja. 

"But I decided to change one single role," he went on to change the subject. "Because I want you playing it." 

Anja rolled her eyes. "Sa-da-o. No way. You know that I'll never play in these stupid action movies of yours." 

"Trust me, you'll like it. It's right up your alley. A very complex role demanding a great - and beautiful - actor like my wife. You'll play a woman that saw hell firsthand and lost her father in her teen years. She spends a long time in a catatonic state. Later on, she's incapable of maintaining more than superficial relationships and tries to drown her inner demons in alcohol." 

Something about the description seemed familiar to Anja. But when she tried to remember, she just got a headache. She was getting interested, however. "You're not simply inventing this, are you?" 

Sadao just went on with his description. "Plus, she forces fourteen year old children to fight a war to revenge her fathers' death. And she perhaps - but it's a minority opinion so to say - shoots her lover." 

"And this lover who gets shot, that's you?" 

"Bingo." 

"I'll think about it." She gave him a tender kiss. "Listen. You'll make breakfast, won't you?" She let her fingers wander around on his chest. "We could have breakfast here." 

Sadao squirmed. "At the moment, you're not really making me want to leave the bed." 

Anja began to laugh and tickled him mercilessly. "Now go!" 

"Okay, okay." He fled into the kitchen. 

Anja leaned off the bed to grab her laptop that was lying on the ground just out of grasping range. The floor was covered with books, CDs, and pieces of clothing as always. She finally managed to get a grip without taking her feet out of the bed. 

While she waited for her husband to return, she checked her email. One in particular caught her eye. 

**Hi Anja! **

I'm back. Those Gainaxians are totally crazy. I tried to show them a few alternatives in life and now they're all running around in stupid Star Trek pajamas. Somebody else will have to take care of them. I'm outta there. 

But even a Goddess needs to work, so I thought I could just go on acting. You've probably heard it already: they're planning a live action movie in this reality! Cool! Well, I've gotten myself a role! AT field manipulations of brains beats casting couch, I can tell you. Guess what my part is! I'll give you a hint: Do you think blonde hair looks good on me? 

Let's talk! What about the corner cafe, today at 2 PM? Just don't bring your boyfriend with you. (I know: You're married now. So he's your EX-boyfriend, right? grin) I hope I never have to see him again. 

Yours, Rinako aka Lilith 

Blonde hair, Anja thought, she could only imagine her with blue hair. She startled. Blue hair? What was she thinking? She didn't even know who this strange woman was - and yet, something about the email seemed to ring a bell somewhere. She tried to remember, only to be greeted with the same mysterious headache.   
  


THE END

------

I never said a word about the timeline but if we assume that the Eva tetralogy (in the "original" reality) and anime series (in the "new" reality) were made at around the same time as in our world, that is starting 1995, then the story plays in the near future. So it took George Lucas much longer to make the new Star Wars trilogy. The same goes for Matrix (that's of course the film the Wachowskis paid Sadao 20 millions for). I could have invented some films for Sadao instead but I wanted to make clear that he _is_ a big star so I mentioned existing movies. 

For the last time: 

Rinako Asuhara - Rei Ayanami 

Sadao Inoguchi - Shinji Ikari 

Anja Siebert - Asuka (Langley) Soryu 

Gonkuro Itagaki - Gendo Ikari 

Sugita Arakawa - Shigeru Aoba 

Masaki Hokusai - Makoto Hyuga 

Mutsuko Ishimura - Maya Ibuki 

Prereaders were once again ChiRho, XXXG-00W0, and Nova. I owe them pieces of my soul.   
  
It's finished! I know, this story was a rather unusual piece of Evangelion fiction and certainly not everyone's cup of tea. In fact, I was positively surprised (to say the least) to get so many reviews (mostly on ff.net) for a story that is not about S/A, S/R, or S/... but about a bunch of ACCs. Anyway, I don't know if everybody liked it but I hope that _you_ liked it since you invested your time to read it until the end. If yes, you may want to read it again. You will notice a few new things after you know the story, I promise. 

I hope I managed to solve all important mysteries. If you have any questions left you can always find me at www.evamade.com. A postscript document containing this story can be found at 

http:people.freenet.de/lclpuddle/guest.ps 

and 

http:people.freenet.de/lclpuddle/guest.pdf 

is (you guessed it) the same in pdf format. 

Anyway, have fun. Puddle's out (for now). 


End file.
